Unrealistic travel plans

My guess would be he would try to do it himself with the help of a local travel agent. He does still have the ability to use the Internet on his computer, his telephone, and his credit card. Said agent may not be able to figure out he has dementia, or may not care due to the financial conflict of interest.

His kids and companion won't help set up the trip; that part is accurate.

I think I've heard about it and know vaguely what it is. I'll read up on it more. If I had to describe it as an amateur, he's in denial about his current ability level and how much help he is getting in AL and isn't able to think through how it would be not to have it. Minimizing, glossing over, and wishful thinking would also be apt descriptors.

He has the money, but has mostly handed over management and control to me, his POA. I did set up alerts on his credit cards so if he puts down a deposit on a trip I would know. He might need my logistical help to get the balance paid with a check.

He does have a passport, I think it's still valid. Actually I don't even know where it is for sure now, though. A lot of stuff got moved around when he moved from IL to AL a few months ago.

He's intelligent and motivated and stubborn and doesn't have very many demands on his time currently, so with the help of a travel agent he could maybe get all the paperwork done. I could see problems cropping up there, but he would still try.

Iris, thanks.

I understand it's not denial - the behavior looks loosely like denial but I can tell that it is different. On the surface, he sounds rational, but when I bring up the issues he skips over them almost like he's not really listening to me or in a trance. A bit like some of the characters in the movie "Get Out" by Jordan Peele, if you've seen that.

I am talking with my sisters and his companion via side channels to figure out how to put up roadblocks. The big one is his companion simply saying she doesn't want to go. I might also conspire with his nurse practitioner to not medically clear him to travel. I might be able to work with the travel agent somehow as well. I will also keep in mind your suggestion about the cruise ships' mobility requirements. On past cruises, he has rented a power scooter from Scootaround, but he had much more mobility then. I could see it being a safety issue because he certainly couldn't participate in a lifevest / liferaft drill or heaven forbid a real emergency.

This anosognosia is new within the past few weeks, so I am just starting to learn and understand and recognize. The fact that he was and is a very intelligent person might be making things a bit more difficult to discern. This is also my first up close and personal experience with a person with dementia. But I can definitely tell that things are "off" and know well enough to come here for advice. Thanks again.

Follow up if anyone is interested.

After a family discussion to make sure my sisters were on board, I was able to disappear two of his three forms of payment, reduce the credit line on his one remaining credit card, and put more notifications on that one remaining credit card. This closes the leak where he was able to spend that much without (enough) oversight.

I also ended up mailing a physical copy of the POA to the cruise company and they refunded all of his deposit back to his bank account. All in all, the cruise company was reasonable to deal with.

I went through his email and unsubscribed him from all the cruise and international travel email subscriptions he was getting.

His nurse practitioner did have a conversation with him at his next regular checkup and advised him not to travel due to his medical situation. Because of his history he's more likely to listen to a medical professional.

His companion has been good about declining invitations to go on trips, and to let me know behind the scenes when he starts bringing up more travel ideas.

He did want to go on another trip after the cruise. This time it was a bus trip to Plymouth Rock in Massachusetts being organized by his CCRC. I spoke with the activity organizer there and he agreed to help cancel that idea.

I never did find his passport and what happened to it is a bit of a mystery. But lost works for us.