Father continually tells me how beautiful/gorgeous/wonderful I look.

Abqgirl · July 2023

:s We just moved my father in to our house this weekend. Part of me thinks he is mistaking me for someone else since he seems to be so obsessed with telling my how beautiful I am. This is not new behavior--he actually got kicked out of the residential living he was in because he was inappropriate to other residents on many occasions. I will be moving him into an assisted living center in the next few months but it's only been one day and I'm already struggling. What do I do about the weird sexual innuendo??!!!

Anonymousjpl123 · July 2023

That’s sounds super uncomfortable. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that - on top of everything else! All I can say is that my relatives all have serious boundary issues and it did not get better with age. I think in some ways alz/dementia brings out people’s lighter and darker sides. Maybe you can say “gee, thanks dad!” And just keep reminding him you are his daughter. I’m sure other have tips as well. Hang in there.

M1 · July 2023

Welcome to the forum. Have you discussed this with his docs? It could get him kicked out again if not addressed. Likely will require medication (or adjustment if f already on). Sorry you are dealing with this, it's one of the harder behaviors to confront.

Abqgirl · July 2023

Thank you so much for the support.

He is living with me now. I'm going to put a call in to the doctor today regarding the behavior. I read that Fluoxetine is a potential help for that behavior.

I am applying for the State VA home so hopefully this situation will not be too long. 🙏🏻

ButterflyWings · July 2023

Sorry for the uncomfortable dynamics you're having to address. If it is only words and innuendo that is enough of a concern, but if it advances to touching or other inappropriate advances it can land him in more trouble than just getting kicked out of a care facility.

As uncomfortable as you are, imagine the trauma if he approaches someone underage (or even an elder who may be fearful or otherwise extra sensitive). He means no harm but the behavior is a signal to you, as caregiver (i.e. the person in charge here), that a solution is required.

I have not experienced this but there was a short period in mid-stages when DH was extra amorous, uncharacteristically suggestive, and just short of lewd. Hypersexuality surfacing. I was praying it did not escalate and diverted, distracted, and redirected mightily until that phase passed. It was very low key but not his normal self at all. So, I can only imagine what you are experiencing. I'm sorry. I've pulled a couple of links for you. If you search in the larger Caregiver's forum there are several threads that can shed light on this too. And the Alz helpline is always good to try.

Dementia and challenging sexual behaviour | Alzheimer's Society (alzheimers.org.uk)

Dementia and Sexually Inappropriate Behavior - ReaDementia

A research study article: Treatment of Inappropriate Sexual Behavior in Dementia - PMC (nih.gov)

harshedbuzz · July 2023

I am sorry you are dealing with this challenge.

This kind of lack of social filter is super common, but that doesn't make it any less icky.

We dealt with this with my dad to some degree. IME, meds were not successful in dialing back dad's sexual ideation-- he was already on Fluoxetine when it started, and it persisted even with Seroquel and Androgen-Deprivation Therapy added.

What was the nature of his previous residential housing? If this was senior living or a hospitality-model AL, I'm not surprised he was asked to leave. The VA Home should be better. Our local State VA Home was my first choice option for dad; I think he would have been best served in a more masculine atmosphere but the wait list of 4-6 months made that undoable for us as he needed placement asap. When I toured, I specifically asked the nurse running the unit about dad's kind of dementia (which has a reputation for challenging behaviors) and his inappropriate behaviors of a sexual nature (mostly talk by this point) and she rolled her eyes at me in that "honey, that's nothin' sort of way" and said "It's nothing we can't handle here".

Good luck.

HB

Abqgirl · August 2023

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/178581#Comment_178581

Thank you so much for the articles. It feels so good to know I'm not overreacting or getting upset for no reason.

Jessy · September 2023

Yes, i hear you on that. Its a neurochemical balance. Hopefully he can be assessed well by neuropsychiatry. They dont do it knowingly of course, its just a reaction. Brain however gets the good feel when affection is given or received. For the moment, try to say thank you dad and step aside if you see it fit. Do not purposely keep yourself away from him at all times. Remember he doesnt know what he is doing and it causes more stress to an already suffering brain with no help.

Check onto methylene blue. Its an old medication that improves cognition, neurotransmitters balance, mitochondria health and brings the person to a more stable and manageable condition. My mother is on it with medical supervision. Also DO NOT feed him processed foods AT ALL. It poisons his brain causing more imbalance. DO not give him sodas if you can. Thankfully with treatment, mom has been able to accept many food changes and has walked away from bad food sources. To the point that if you give her a soda, she will refuse. How? because new brain patterns have been for and are the new shape of what she accepts or rejects.

She is also on brain peptides thru a compounding pharmacy just as for the methylene blue. Also an array of supplements and the food changes already mentioned.

Hope all of above is of help for your dad. Take care.

Father continually tells me how beautiful/gorgeous/wonderful I look.

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