Nervous

He is irritable because nothing makes sense to him any longer. Everything is confusing him. You have to keep things consistent in his life. Keep a daily routine. Remove anything complicated or unsafe. Don't talk about money. Make his life easy. Read the stages and learn about anosognosia. He is not aware of how he appears to you or that he has dementia.

Iris

Teresa, PLEASE, PLEASE talk to your husband’s doctor very soon. If you have children, please enlist their help. My father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s about five years ago and refused the medication (I thought he was taking it but my mother allowed him not to take it). My mother hid so many things, and we didn’t realize how much she was covering up or compensating for in his issues until she passed away from a stroke in October of 2020. I was their POA-financial, health, etc. should the other spouse be unable to function as such.

My father had a TIA two weeks after her stroke and a significant stroke on Christmas Day of 2020. I had been with him 24/7 since my mother’s passing, and before the stroke it was hard to distinguish between the Alzheimer’s and the overwhelming grief he was experiencing. After six months of extensive PT, he had residual right-sided weakness and some issues that were later diagnosed as post stroke dementia, in addition to the Alzheimer’s. It took quite a while to distinguish what actions and reactions were from which.

Once he was “stable” from the stroke, it became clear that the Alzheimer’s had progressed much more than my mother had let us know. He had reverted back to the very hateful, mean person he was when I was growing up—before he became a Christian in my teens. I found notes and cards indicating that he had been verbally and possibly physically abusive to my mother in the last several months of her life. He became irate at the smallest things and physically threatened me on several occasions.

I took early retirement to care for my mother after her stroke until she passed away two weeks later and then my father after she passed away. My husband then semi-retired to help with my dad’s personal needs. His condition deteriorated quickly, and my husband fully retired to help me.

We took care of him until he passed away in March of this year. Those two and half years were some of the hardest we ever spent, and looking back I wish I had known how bad he was before my mother’s stroke. We saw them every day and saw some issues, but my mother explained them away and was always so protective of him, to the point that she was worn down. I really believe the stress and anxiety contributed to the stroke that cost her her life.

Please ask for help and take care of yourself. It is hard to deal with so much that happens, and you need to take the changes seriously. Prayers for you and him.

some forms of ALZ & Dementia progress quicker than others. If he has a Neurologist, contact them and ask for medication because he is angry and agitated. He was diagnosed 2 years ago and is in Stage 5 going into Late Stage 5. It's common for their behaviors to overlap stages. My DH has behaviors in both of those stages but not all of the behaviors. Hope that makes sense. It's important to get him help for his sake and yours. They put my DH on Risperidone 1/2 tab 2x day. It does help him sleep although it hasn't helped the anger outbursts. Also this handout someone else posted helped me understand what stage my DH is in. I used this list to document my DH's behaviors to better help me communicate with his doctors. https://tala.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/Tam-Cummings-LLC-Handouts.pdf