I'm back, but this time I'm the one with dementia

I’m 60 and have dementia. I also developed what’s known as drooping head syndrome, which means I have trouble keeping my head up. Finally, I have spasms at night that keep me up most of the night. My mom is 87 and has it too. I recently had a car accident and can’t drive and live alone. I have to come up with rides. It’s hard being so dependent. While I’ve been coping with these symptoms for awhile, it’s just in the last few months that they got a lot worse—my dad died, mom went to a memory care facility and we sold my childhood home. I live 4 hours away from my mom, and with transportation and health problems it will be difficult to visit . I talk to her most nights. Mom gets frustrated because she can’t remember ; she’s well aware and says my brain doesn’t work. I talk about our Christmas’s growing up and that lifts her spirits. It’s still hard to talk to her. But Im glad we have the chance now. Ironically, Im not doing too much, so I don’t have much to say either. What Im really grappling with is that Im envious of the busy lives my friends have. Im angry that Im now in this category of illness. Technically it’s disability I guess but I feel illness is a better term. Im working hard to accept myself and let go of negative thoughts, and I distract myself with reading the news. Tv and seeing friends and doing errands. Thank you for letting me share. This board is a great comfort

I just connected with someone who provides rides. I’m going to find a volunteer activity to keep me busy

My heart goes out to you. Im caring for my mom; ES. I try to keep her busy. Shes big on Crossword puzzles. We listen to books instead of reading. I try to get her out of the house for fresh air and exercise. We try to enjoy the simple things. A funny movie every night helps her have pleasant dreams. Dont be hard on yourself. We all have good and bad days. Dont loose today because you are upset about yesterday. Start fresh each morning. I get my stregnth from the Bible. I like Bret Meador at AtheyCreek.com.

I try to crete small goals so we have something to look forward to.

Mom takes a mild anti-depressant. It truly helps. This site really helps. You are not alone

May I ask what are your interest? What do you like to do for fun?

My husband is ES VD. He is doing fairly well but the struggle has been in trying to keep him active. A lot of the things you are doing with your mom. Would probably work well with my husband too. Especially A funny movie to watch. Maybe taking A walk too. The caregiver side of the forum has good information. The information on this side for people who have AD and dementia. Helps me to be more empathic to how my husband is feeling. When he is confused and struggling for words. He said to me recently that when he goes to say something. He can see the words and just is not able to reach them.

Amy Joy did they give list of places for you to look at?? When my husband's mom couldn't live alone anymore. She was waitlisted for AL based on income. Had place she could afford and liked. They had bus service that would take them shopping and stuff. She stayed there until, she died in 2017. My husband and I need to move he would qualify for AL. But I won't because I don't have dementia and I am not 55 yet either. Trying to figure out away for the both of us to live together. Is not going to be easy.