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Another moment of clarity perhaps?

ghphotog
ghphotog Member Posts: 667
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edited November 2023 in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

Yesterday when my DW was sundowning, she becomes very, scared and frightened in the late afternoon. Sometimes she is sobbing telling me she doesn't want to die then immediately forgets about saying that but yesterday was different.

She was sobbing telling me "Don't let me do this!!, I can't do this!, Please please don't let me do this. . . " I knew what she was trying to tell me and it was so heartbreaking.

True to form, she forgot almost immediately.

Has anyone else gone through this?

Lord please help her!!! My prayers seem so futile.

Comments

  • Marta
    Marta Member Posts: 694
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    Is your wife on meds to help with sundowning?

  • ghphotog
    ghphotog Member Posts: 667
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/187950#Comment_187950

    yes, memantine. Maybe I'm reading more into than I should.

  • Jeanne C.
    Jeanne C. Member Posts: 805
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    It may be worth a conversation with her doc or np. Meds sometimes need adjustments. Anything that can help her feel less anxious, especially during the super fun sundowning time will be a blessing. Hang in there. Sorry for you both.

  • ghphotog
    ghphotog Member Posts: 667
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    edited November 2023

    Thank you! It seemed to be a paradoxical lucidity but who knows what she really meant. Only she does but there is no way of investigating things like these because they are so fleeting, then gone forever.

  • Joydean
    Joydean Member Posts: 1,497
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    I’m so sorry this is so hard. I had tears just reading your post. I think you really should talk to her doctor about a medication that will help with anxiety. It will make her life a little easier and yours. Prayers sent for you both!

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 884
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    So sorry. So heartbreaking I know. My DH is on Memantine. His Neurologist said it was to increase his attention and focus. Now my DH has a Geriatric Psychiatrist who his Neurologist said is the best one to manage his medications. They added Risperidone 2x a day low dose and it has helped greatly with agitation & hallucinations. They can also prescribe medication for depression. They tried Mirtazapine but my DH had a very bad reaction to it. He said it "messed him up" -- he was more agitated. The Geri Psyche said she would try another medication if he continued to be depressed. Get a referral to a Geri Psyche if you can and talk to them about her specific behaviors and what she is expressing.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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