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dementia mom & upcoming wedding

irene912
irene912 Member Posts: 84
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in Caring for a Parent

My mom recently is not recognizing me. So far, she knows my kids. But my daughter is getting married next year. She's realized that mom may not be able to attend her wedding, or may not know her, which is very sad. Her & my mom have always been close. I find it heartbreaking. Mom also does not like to be in a big group of people. Do others find this with your loved ones? Too much stimulation?

Anyone have any ideas for what my daughter can do special with my mom, either on her big day or around it? I thought of taking pictures with mom in her dress at least. Any other ideas or thoughts people have found with their loved ones? :)

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  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,788
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    I think a picture session is a great idea, and would probably leave it at that. Unless you can have a designated individual to take care of her full-time at the wedding, i wouldn't try to bring her.

  • Smilescountry
    Smilescountry Member Posts: 109
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    A year is a long time away. I agree that a picture session is a good idea. Depending on how pictures are taken, someone might be able to bring her just for pictures. And that is assuming that there will not be too much stimulation. I know that my Dad does not like lots of noise and confusion. He made it through part of a large, family event only because we rented a gym complex at a church and used a game room, gym, and large dining area. He stayed in the dining area in a decorated corner that had upholstered chairs and quiet music. When he was ready to leave (half-way through), we had already designated someone to take him back to his "apartment." Within 15 minutes, Dad was where he wanted to be and our designated chauffeur had returned to the party.

  • Jeanne C.
    Jeanne C. Member Posts: 841
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    edited December 2023

    I love the picture session idea! Maybe your daughter and mother can select a reading for the ceremony together (from a short list) so that your daughter will feel her grandmother there with her on her special day. Or, maybe there is a reading from your mother's wedding that your daughter can incorporate.

  • irene912
    irene912 Member Posts: 84
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/191353#Comment_191353

    I really like that idea 🙂

  • psg712
    psg712 Member Posts: 412
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    Yes, too much stimulation is very unsettling. At my wedding (many years ago), family members brought my confused great-grandfather to the reception. I went outside to meet him where it was quiet. He was so happy to see me in my bridal gown and greeted me by my mother's name! He stayed just long enough to have something to eat and then was taken home.

  • irene912
    irene912 Member Posts: 84
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/191621#Comment_191621

    Wow I love the idea of meeting her outside, away from the crowd for a short time. Thank you :)

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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