Question: Memory Care versus Long Term Care Capabilities

Most of the MCs I toured could manage aging in place with hospice help. One also had a very nice skilled nursing unit on the next floor. Definitely ask how they will manage progression.

My DH of 55 + years and 77 years old is touching stage 7 and home with me. I would like to keep him home and bring hospice in my home, is that something I'm wishing for and has anyone actually been able to do it or should I in reality have a plan B like many people are telling me???????????

Denise - I think it's a facility to facility type of thing. Where my DH is, I was told that he'd be moved to skilled nursing care once he needed total care and no longer wandered. Since he's been there (22 months) I've seen a couple of residents moved from memory care to skilled nursing. DH is still in memory care, and he's been total care for the past year. I like the people (residents and staff!) in his corner of the facility, and I think they're keeping him where he is because I'm there so often, but it probably has just as much to do with the fact that they don't need his room for someone else. Hospice has been onboard for over a year.

My DW is well into Stage 7 at her MCF. Almost all residents their are given full care there until the end. There are only a few reasons why a patient would be moved and it has to do with what an MCF is not licensed to provide care for in my state, basically a few cases that require continuous medical supervision. In cases like my DW, they recommended hospice but don't require it. They also never require any family provided aides. They do everything and she needs complete care including hand feeding and using a hoyer lift to move her from bed to a wheelchair. There are currently several residents at her MCF in the very last days of care.

At DW's MCF, hospice doesn't take over per se, they add another level of care that is more advanced in nature. For instance she has had several sores that the hospice nurse initially treated and then gave directions to the MCF aides to further treat with the oversight and regular visits of the hospice nurse. Although hospice often provides care such as assistance with bathing, at my DW's facility the MCF aides just keep doing the bathing and don't bother asking the hospice agency to send someone.

@Babz0226

There are members here who opted to keep the LO's at home until the end by engaging hospice and/or other in-home help as needed. @jfkoc and @LadyTexan are two people who come to mind.

My dear friend was able to keep her mom at home with home health aides and hospice for 4 months. Her mom also had breast cancer that wasn't being treated which complicated her care.

That said, it is always important to have an executable-on-the-fly Plan B just in case. I would tour MCFs and SNFs and become familiar with the application and financial situation so you have a top 3 options should you need to decide in a hurry. At a certain age, we should all know which SNF we'd want to be discharged to if we had an accident or illness that required rehab anyway. When there's a PWD to consider, you need a back-up plan to provide care and safety if something changes like an escalation in needs for him or an illness/injury that prevents you from focusing on him. If nothing else, you need to have a plan in case you are among the 1/3 of caregivers who die before their LO.

HB

ME TOO--only my husband is 78 and stage 6+. I put him in MC for 2 months this summer and took him out. I did not like what I saw for those people who were further along and needed hospice care. I figure I will need a plan B in case he needs a wheelchair sooner than expected..... I think it depends on how 'friendly' your home is to possible wheelchair and getting help. If he can no longer feed himself or bear weight, those are 2 signs more help is needed. I plan to keep looking at places just in case...

Oh! Thank you sooo much. I hope it can be that way for my DH. I might sleep a little better knowing it really can happen for some people and I know not all people with this difficult disease. I don't know my future but I have some hope, Thanks again, really needed to hear a different take on the whole process that I want for him in the end.