Not sure how to handle my situation!

avieDa921) · January 2

My DH has ALZ 6 years, I think stage 6. Since the end of Nov 2023, he has not been recognizing me all the time, especially late afternoon “sundowning.” He thinks I am someone else and asks what is my name, where do I live, how will I get home, etc. because his wife or mother may not approve of me being there. I feel like I’m on the show “Dragnet.” I got him on medication because of anxiety & had to switch because of the side effects. It’s been going on every night driving me crazy trying to talk him into letting me sleep at his house. It always starts at 4:30pm & if I’m lucky, he might recognize me before I go to bed! Today, it started at 2:00pm, ended at 11:00pm. He gave up on me waiting for someone to pick me up, so asked me where did I want to sleep! I’m in the spare bedroom and not out on the street thumbing a ride to nowhere! Still trying to figure out the right dose of medication to help him with his anxiety & hallucinations & to help me keep my patience & sanity!

M1 · January 2

Welcome to the forum. You may need to take him to the emergency room for evaluation or admission. Is he on an antipsychotic like Seroquel (quetiapine) or Risperdal (risperidone)? That's the class of medicine most likely to be effective here. Also other problems like a urinary tract infection may need to be ruled out.

ButterflyWings · January 2

Do check for a UTI. My DH often did not recognize me, starting in the middle stages. Or he "saw" me as someone else -- mom, sister, cousin, employee -- even thought I was his son several times (even with my long hair and wearing a dress. Dementia is so weird). Perception was way off but as long as he still liked the me he didn't recognize, I just rolled with it. Except the first few times when it took my breath away and hurt my heart so much.

But back to the UTI, with no other symptoms one night he wanted me out, very aggressively and it got scary how mean he was. He usually would go to sleep and wake up in a better mood but not that time. I don't know if it was just that their brains are more rested after a long day and sundowning...but sometimes a little liquid melatonin would help him fall asleep sooner (easier to sneak into his juice or water, than to get him to take a 25mg "booster" Seroquel).

Anyway, especially if this is kind of a sudden change, like M1 said, it is worth checking for a UTI. Once treated, DH was back to his baseline after a couple of days and no longer threatening to throw me out thank goodness.

Edited to add this link from a 2021 episode. I see that he had missed his meds, but we also were going through a UTI that needed a different antibiotic to completely clear. Good luck to you. https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/103334#Comment_103334

avieDa921) · January 2

M1 & Bufferflywings, he was tested because he had a lot of incontinence. Tests were negative. I figured out that Lorezapam was causing it and when I stopped it, the incontinence stopped. He started on Seroquel this week, just trying to figure out the right dosage for him. Thanks for your input! Love this website and sorry I didn't reach out 6 years ago when all this started. I guess I thought I could do it all by myself, silly me!

ghphotog · January 2

Same exact questions my DW has been asking for a long time. She doesn't recognize me, especially in the mornings and yells at me to "get out!", "You don't live here!!" "What are you doing?". This is every single day. If I say "OK" and start leaving she begins to cry and begs me not to leave. She knows and she doesn't know.

avieDa921) · January 5

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/193218#Comment_193218

Is she on medication for hallucinations? My DH started on the generic for Seroquel for hallucinations the beginning of the week & I have already noticed he’s better as far as recognizing me for longer periods! It is also good for agitation. He only had agitation when he was on Lorezapam. They say it may take a few weeks to get acclimated and I’m still figuring out the right dosage.

DCCEPEK · January 5

Same here, you either dealing with disease or side effects. And still no relief for me or hubby with mil acting crazy on meds no uti just sheer meanness or just totally withdrawn. Always reaching for something. I'm ready to be a wife again or just check the hell out.

avieDa921) · January 6

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/193625#Comment_193625

How long have been dealing with it?

Not sure how to handle my situation!

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