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Hallucinations

luckyred
luckyred Member Posts: 1 Member
in Caring For a Spouse or Partner
I am caregiver for my husband, second time for me, late husband died from ALZ in 2000. My husband has notions that I am having affairs with different men, I am not, and he sees one on our church website services. I have this sorta under control but he think that just because I don't want to have sexual relations every other day, he's 81 I'm 79, that I'm having an affair. This is really getting to wear on me.

Comments

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,716
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    Member

    welcome to the forum. You need to talk to his docs about medications to tamp down both the hypersexuality and and delusions. Atypical antipsychotics like Seroquel and Risperdal are usually pretty effective at this. So sorry, you must feel snakebit to have to go through this again.

  • BPS
    BPS Member Posts: 74
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    My wife has delusions of me having an affair with our 18 year old grand daughter. When she starts in it is best if I change the subject or leave the room and it usually passes, but that is really hard when it is such a personal attack. I always want to know what makes her think that even though I know her brain is not working right. Her doctor doesn't want to give her medication as long as she is not getting violent. She has an appointment with a neurologist the end of Feb for other issues but I am going to talk to him about it too.

  • sandwichone123
    sandwichone123 Member Posts: 743
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    BPS and all, I want to talk a little about what does cause these delusional thoughts. Memories are funny, and they're not saved the way we think they are--we rebuild our own memories whenever we recall them, using pictures, family stories, "snapshot" memories, etc. Our loved ones don't have most of those mental resources. Even photos may not evoke memories very well for them.

    Given their limitations, seeing you watch that young man, or seeing that young woman you clearly care about, their minds fill in the blanks, "building" something that feels like a memory, even though the building blocks aren't right. Even if there weren't specific people involved, the changes in the relationship that comes with caregiving may lead our loved ones to build stories like memories, which may include affairs that make sense in their story.

    I'm not saying it's good or bad, just the way brains work, and don't work so well....

  • cavenson
    cavenson Member Posts: 31
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    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/195094#Comment_195094

    Your explanation is so insightful. For over 5 years, my DH has been accusing me of having affairs. Trying to reason with him has been frustrating and futile. His version of events is so twisted. If I can look at his delusions with a new perspective, I can see that he has filled in the blanks with something he believes is a memory. Thank you so much for sharing this. I'm going to copy what you wrote so that I can keep referring back to it when I need it.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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