suggestion to avoid watching news on TV (of bad events)
I noticed that a PWD may see something bad on TV news (bad weather, accidents, war, etc.) and not recall it was shown earlier that day/yesterday/last week/whatever. But each viewing can turn into repetitively stating "how horrible" and can be upsetting to PWD.
So when a PWD want to catch up on news, I try to use YouTube to select specific news segments (or selecting broadcast shows judiciously) , and avoid watching news shows in its entirety. Much TV news tend to be repetitive anyway and annoying, even for non PWD.
This is an exaggeration, but I would not want to relive 9/11 or some other major calamity repeatedly for the "first time". I think a PWD does not necessarily need to see today's news, if TV is just a way to pass the time. So I can select something other than "hard" news -- can be human interest stories, "good news" or humor segments, etc. I think watching the news was a PWD's old habit, so one can naturally gravitate toward it, but you don't have to really watch it.
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This is a very important post. TV news with its over-emphasis on negative and sensational stories -- that's the last thing a PWD needs to see, when they already are struggling with reality. If I would not expose an impressionable young child to something, I would not want my DH viewing it either.
Such scary, violent, and graphic images and storylines to imprint on a confused brain...it is asking for trouble. From weather disasters to bombs and war, to local catastrophes like burning buildings, car crashes, burglaries, murders and other distressing threats. Nope, we started avoiding this in early stages, along with most everything on TV that isn't G rated pretty much. I don't want screaming and yelling in my actual relationships, so why would I bring it into my home via fiction, which my DH may experience as real?!
Thanks for bringing this up. Watching disturbing content can contribute to agitation, fear, and trigger hallucinations and delusions for our LOs unnecessarily. Why take that chance when they are already struggling with reality and are processing information differently as their brains decline. This is a great reminder of something simple we can do to respect how dementia changes our LOs and the need for us to adapt their habits (and ours) accordingly.
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The parental control feature on a TV can be used to block any channel that might have disturbing content. This can include channels with crime shows, 24/7 political news channels, certain movie channels, etc. The most watched things at my DH's AL facility are the Hallmark Channel, game shows, and nature channels.
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Thank you for the great idea. Sharing ideas of what worked at an AL is so helpful for us.
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Our issue was not so much the reliving of an upsetting event "for the first time", empathy left the building early on, but conflated memories triggered by TV.
One characteristic of dad's dementia presentation was confabulation. This is when a PWD has an incomplete memory of something -- typically the gist of something and often something associate with strong emotion but not the details. Dad had a tendency to backfill the who, what, when, where and how with random details that might sound plausible to a stranger but felt more like Mad Libs for those who went through it with him. Initially, he did this mostly around family stories before he was diagnosed. To me it felt like rewriting family history as he would often credit me with some heinous thing my sister or his did in the past. As if he was trying to minimize her crimes by accusing others. Usually, me. He once told my then tween son about the time I took him to a bar and went off to have sex with some man I just met and the bartender had to call dad to "come get the kids" at closing time. This did happen, but it wasn't me. Sometimes this could be amusing. One time he swore to me he could get up to eat his lunch because he just had his knee replaced while pointing to his elbow. FTR, mom was just out of TKR surgery at the time.
As dad's dementia worsened, the 4th wall came down between him and TV viewing. It wasn't so much that he was reliving hearing about what he saw-- he was recalling it happen to him personally. All weather was just outside his door-- fires, floods, blizzards-- and we're not safe. But the worst were mom's crime dramas. He'd watch CSI and then tell me he'd been raped, kidnapped and murdered the previous evening.
My parents had Comcast at the time so it was easy enough to use parental controls to block all 24-hour news, TWC and other problematic shows. This also kept him from accidently ordering pay-per-views, movies and entire seasons of sports he never watched. I locked things down initially when mom got a $700 cable bill after dad ordered all manner of random things on TV.
Many people have success with TCM for movies. There's a cable channel that plays old westerns and others that have old sitcoms on repeat that work for many caregivers. Dad really enjoyed the auto auction channel and more than once I walked in on him watching Daniel Tiger.
HB
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Oh my gosh. I learned this lesson during the Hawaiian wildfire last year. He kept panicking and trying to get me to evacuate. Dementia wouldn't let him understand that the fires were nowhere near us.
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Thanks for the warnings. I sometimes see the TV tuned to a children's show, and should take that as a "safe" blessing rather than a curiosity or even an annoyance.
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my mother has had advanced ALZ dementia for the past 9 years. the only TV we watch are repeat game shows on amazon prime - supermarket sweep, password plus and blockbusters. we've been watching the same episodes over and over for the past 7 years at meal times and she never grows tired of them and they are safe for her to watch. other than meal times, there's no TV on - just Perry Como records and short dementia novels for her to read.
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@harshedbuzz @Jeanne C. @scarfire Thanks for the info. What's very valuable about this forum is that I read about actual experiences. Books and such may mention the cognitive decline, how certain brain lobes don't work as before, and offer a few examples of what happens but that sometimes doesn't connect it to real life experience.
While I can determine logically how short memory can influence things like TV watching, I either don't make the connection, in denial or perhaps unintentionally choosing what I prefer to watch. So reading about how you experienced it is very useful for me and can try to make things a little less frustrating. Thanks again.
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Yes!! My mom got hooked on the weather channel, which was OK at first but then we discovered she was watching those "big truck goes off the road in a Canadian snowstorm" shows, and would call my brother in a panic to see if he was OK.
Preemptively, we watch a lot of PBS at our house. My partner doesn't really watch any more but I appreciate the lack of blood and guts in the BBC shows.
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I agree with the need to attentive to what our PWDs are watching. DH likes Sci-Fi / action / adventure movies, but I only let him watch them early in the day. Once it's afternoon, and particularly in the hours before bedtime, I switch over to comedies, family movies and nature shows. Even then there can be confusion between reality and what is on TV. He called me into his room today and insisted he needed a map. After asking a few questions I figured out he was reacting to the family movie he was watching - it was about a treasure hunt.
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I don't want to make light of your problems, but I think seeing the humor in things (asking for a map for the treasure hunt movie) gives us some way to keep going. I am not going to imagine what a PWD would ask for if we viewed a Sci-Fi movie with monsters!
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It is true that the news does not always show the whole truth. And it is sad that we are not always told the truth about what is happening in Ukraine. I have many acquaintances there, from whom I learn more than with anything new, and they shared this https://cartodonate.com. Since Ukrainian soldiers need help, that's why I also decided to share with you!
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This is such helpful information for families, and not necessarily something we all think about when our LO starts showing potential dementia symptoms. I never knew this was an issue until my mom started accusing everyone around her (mostly me and my sibling) of committing crimes, fraud, stealing, doing drugs, and elder abuse. None of these thing were true and all came on suddenly at different times over many months. She was still living alone, and the tv was on almost constantly in the background. One day it dawned on us that what she was hearing/seeing on tv was feeding into terrible challenges she was having with paranoia and delusions. She got very upset one day and started claiming we were going to be arrested and charged with federal fraud. It was completely out of the blue and we realized that same day that the news was announcing a federal indictment. Then came the elder abuse claims, again out of no where. It was the same day their were news stories about a celebrity accusing their child of elder abuse. Once we noticed the connection, we tried to encourage her to watch old movies and game shows she used to like, but the damage was done. Those negative stories have continued to feed what she considers her "memories" of things that have happened to her and everyone around her.
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Now I realize that this form of confabulation can result from many sources: TV, radio, news or books. So I need to be careful about anything ranging from soap operas (family trouble), animal shows (bears lurking), crime shows/murder mysteries (any bad acts). It really does direct you to choose tame game shows, or doing simple puzzles and such.
It's so easy to dismiss odd behavior as "here comes that random statement again!", but there actually may be a cause or origin for it, which you can perhaps prevent, or at least attribute to. Plus believing in (say) a natural disaster or family trouble can distress the PWD's wellbeing, so I want to try to minimize that.
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Don't forget about the phone.
Peggy had so many alerts on her phone, that thing was constantly pinging, and I had no idea what all was going on. Until I looked. Two of her alerts were for fire outbreaks (we're in CA, so we keep tabs on these things), and for earthquakes (same thing). Thing is, Peggy is deathly afraid of both, so she was constantly checking her phone to see if a fire or earthquake had happened near us.
Needless to say, I disabled those as soon as I discovered them.
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That's so true. There are alerts and info from so many sources. I suppose there are other people around a PWD who can receive & review the alerts, so it makes sense to disable those for a PWD's phone.
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I am newly diagnosed with early-stage dementia. Television in general with fast loud commercials drives me into a state of pain. I used to get up every morning and watch the news. I stopped this practice and enjoyed the peace and natural sounds of the surroundings. Today I finally put on the radio and listened to NPR. I get overloaded easily. Thanks for sharing BTW. G
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I am glad you have enough self-awareness to change your habits. For many of us, including me, it's easy to continue what we had been doing for years. Like you, I try to avoid commercial laden channels, and choose commercial free channels, if possible (perhaps streaming, or NPR) and I find that helps me.
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