Frustrated with both VA and private insurance

I was able to get VA testing done and get the report. I suspect your main roadblock is not having the testing and diagnosis in the VA system.

Vets with dementia qualify for 100% disability. The VA will do everything possible to deny this benefit using the wrong assessment scale. I decided I'll need to get a lawyer to accomplish that.

Aide and attendance will be based on income and assets. Very complicated process that is better if assisted by VA Affairs Officers. This service is free, and the VA must provide it. (Then it depends on the VA affairs officer knowing the rules regs, and categories.)

The VA's social workers have been less that helpful in FL. (In NV they were offering me palliative care.) I've found that a lot depends on the knowledge of the VA social worker and medical personnel. They change often and most don't have a clue. The other factor seems to be how thin everything is stretched.

Fortunately, we have LTC insurance. I have placed H in MC. Now I just have to keep him from being evicted due to behavior. If I ever get that accomplished, I'll revisit chipping away at the VA stuff which I will need if LTC runs out.

Others will come along who have been more successful with the VA system and processes. I wish you luck.

Good Morning Joydean,

I applied for disability from the VA for my DH. He also was a Viet Nam vet and a marine stationed in Camp Lejeune. We went through the 2 independent doctor evaluations. They still denied him stating that Alzheimer's was not a "presumptive diagnosis" related to agent orange. I just now appealed it because someone told me that they always deny the first time. Sometimes, my head just spins from all the adminstrative hoops to jump through. Good Luck Joy. Let us know if you are successful.

Even if they were not combat vets and there is no service connection, a veteran with dementia is eligible for the Catastrophically Disabled status and that brings specific higher level services. Free. They earned it. I also found that activating his MyHealthEVet portal allowed me to communicate in writing, which gets more attention as there is documentation and a paper trail. FYI, diagnosis can be done by a community care provider even without a consult request (referral) from VA PCP. The MRI is not required.

There are several "approved" evaluation scales attached to the Cat. Dis. application, and we had 2 different docs complete a 1 page eval form to provide their assessment of his condition re IADLs, ADL, etc. Based on those scores, he was eligible. One member here secured a doctors letter stating their LO "needed constant supervision or would be a danger to himself or others" which was all she had to provide.

Granted, this is not the same as Aid & Attendance I realize (after a year of me doing the same dance you describe, DH did not qualify for that benefit due to service dates being 4 months short of the window for this and not being deployed in combat). So, there is no pension and no compensation to me for my 24/7 slog as loving spouse caregiver. But the health benefits we have access to through his Cat. Dis. classification have been hugely helpful.

Thank you so much.