Filing taxes
It's tax time and my dad usually does it. But now with his dementia, he gets too confused. He might not be able to gather all the paperwork for someone to do it for him. Any suggestions?
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whoever is currently POA needs to be responsible for this. If it's your uncle, ask him how he plans to proceed. No way your dad or mom should be doing it or even collecting the paperwork, they may lose it.
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I haven't spoke to my uncle for many years. He doesn't even know how my parents'decline is. It will shock him. But it's time for intervention. I can't do everything.
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Get Power of Attorney as soon as possible. I was assigned Durable POA for my mother in 2015. As the years progressed, I realized there were things I could not do for her, financially, without loading her up in the car and taking her from one financial institution to the other (she liked to chase down CD rates!) Discussed this with Mom's attorney, and he suggested a "Spring-Forward Power of Attorney", which avoids a physician's assessment, and basically is a signed document giving POA willingly in 2020. I had been able to take over bill paying, change of address (all of her mail coming to my house, etc.) prior to the Spring Forward POA. BUT Mom had several accounts in her Trust name, so her attorney advised I needed to be added as a Co-Trustee. Mom agreed to all. Her attorney spoke directly to her in my presence, to determine that Mom knew exactly what she was being asked and signing, and that I was not coercing her. In fact, he knew this was the best course for her and me. Mom has dementia now, and had she not given me the Spring Forward POA in 2020, she would have no idea what we would be talking about today. About income taxes? Mom's accountant made a huge oversight on her 2021 income taxes, and I was the one who caught it. It took over a year to reconcile. In 2022 I decided to use TurboTax for Mom, rather than paying the accountant, and it was a breeze! The best advice I can give is to do all that you can NOW to avoid chaos in the future. My mantra in this long journey with Mom is "Your problems will always be available, but so are your solutions".
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Wow Spring Forward POA!! Is that legal in SC? I need to do my mom's taxes also. She is bed bound.
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I wish I could be power of attorney but I can't cuz I'm on SSDI. I heard my uncle in Canada is POA but I haven't talked to him for years. It is time to let him know the condition of my parents. I'm hesitant to reveal the truth because my mom will blame me of betrayal and will not share anything with me anymore. My parents are very private people and rarely ask for help. I don't know how to proceed. I know what I should do but scared to do it.
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Do it mpang.you can't be a fortune teller about your moms reactions. She may be secretly grateful for the help. Safety needs to drive the decision making.
Have you asked an attorney about the poa? I don't see why your being on sSDI has a bearing. It doesn't have anything to do with your own finances? It is correct that Social security would not accept your poa for dealing with THEIR social security funds, you have to be what's called their representative payee. But you may not need that-if their checks are on direct deposit, you won't be dealing with SSA but with the bank. If you are a signatory on their bank accounts you don't even need POA to deal with the bank.
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I don’t understand why you can’t be a POA just because you are on disability. Unless you have cognitive issues of your own. The fact that your funds come from being disabled doesn’t matter. You are managing your own funds? If so, then you should be able to manage so sone else’s? Unless you have a history of appropriating other people’s money for yourself? Because the point of a POA is to manage someone’s funds for them and only for them.
I do understand if you feel that being a POA would be more than you can manage right now.
Editted to add: I read your post after this. I can understand why you might feel that it wouldn’t be in either you or her best interests to take on additional stress of being a POA. It sounds like you are doing a great job at what you do for her.
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I have mental illness. That's my disability but I'm very stable on my meds. Don't know if that disqualifies me to hold a responsibility of being a POA. I need to talk to someone about all the concerns. Lawyers are too expensive if I need one.
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If you are not deemed incompetent there shouldn't be a problem. The cost of an attorney is well worth it to get this right and would be paid out of your parents' funds. Please, look into consulting a certified elder law attorney, or call your uncle now. A lot of CELAs offer free initial consultations.
Another possibility would be to pay a local professional to serve as poa, though it seems less likely that your mother would agree to that.
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A while ago, my mom did told me to talk to my uncle to stay in touch. But that was before dementia. I think I will ask my Mom if she doesn't mind for me to talk to him again about how they are doing. If Uncle has POA, he should know what's going on. I see my parents tomorrow and will ask and discuss the issues surrounding POA. All this makes me nervous but I know this needs to be done. One step at a time.
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My mother and I are in Missouri. I would think the Spring Forward POA (no need to wait for 2 physicians' evaluations) would be "legal" in any state. In my situation, the "Spring Forward POA" is a legal document stating that my mother requested and assigned full POA responsibilities for her to me, and all of those responsibilities are to be carried out "in the best interests" of Mom. Mom's attorney suggested this, otherwise I would not have known about it. BUT I did not do it on my own. Mom's attorney came to her Independent Living Apartment. explained everything to her and made sure she understood everything she was signing. She acted like it was "no big deal" because she agreed for me to be POA years earlier! BUT that POA would have required 2 physicians' evaluations. Spring Forward POA prevents so much of that waiting. Now I can sign, answer, get and give any information necessary for Mom. Hope this helps. By the way, the work Mom's attorney did -drawing up the Spring Forward POA, the Joint Trustee documents on her Trust account, emails back and forth with me, driving to and meeting at Mom's IL apartment , was a charge of $200. Very well worth what I can do for Mom now.
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Perhaps these? Not sure of your situation, but perhaps there's local help for seniors in your area?
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Emily 123, thank you so much for the information. My parents really need it.
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I know this is a lot of work, but can you go through mail and find everything for taxes and then bring it in yourself. When taxes are done and ready for a signature bring dad in to sign the papers. I have poa but do it this way just because mom wants to be involved.
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Chug, I noticed my dad is collecting the tax papers. Not sure if he knows how to file anymore. I will look at the papers and collect them so I can bring them to a place that offers free tax service.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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