Gross behaviors ?

JC5 · February 11

So random and maybe not such a big thing, but I am having difficulty accepting some of DH behaviors that I find downright gross! Scratching his head and then wiping off the flakes all over himself, kitchen table, floor! Using a tissue and leaving it on the counter or end table! Or not using a tissue but his finger and wiping that on his clothes! This goes along with not showering or brushing teeth! I could go on . And best of all he thinks it’s all ok! Reason for this rant..he yelled at me when I asked him to stop scratching over the table. Sorry if I offended anyone. Thanks for listening.

JeriLynn66 · February 11

The only place I have NOT yet found dirty Kleenex in my FIL’s 1 bedroom apartment is the refrigerator. Yet😳

Judy.T. · February 11

My pet peeve is when he puts his shoes on the counter as I am preparing food, or on the table when we are going to sit down to eat. Hello! you just walked across the yard and we have a dog & cat! I have come to the realization he can't find the trash barrel to save his life. Sorry I feel you pain, know you are not alone.

ButterflyWings · February 11

@JC5 - Vent away. This is the place. Your post reminds me of the time when DH had suddenly developed a habit of sucking his teeth after eating and then spitting whatever little bits he retrieved. On the table, across the room, on the floor, on the dashboard if we were driving. I was aghast and told him so, more than once. (With increasing volume, I'm sure). This was before we realized he had dementia.

Please know that your DH probably lacks any insight that it is not OK, even if we tell them or have a meltdown (that was me, lol). He thinks its all OK because his brain is broken, not to mention he probably forgot that he did it and you told him to cut it out, before. And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but things are going to get way worse on the grossness scale you know. Dementia is next level.

As a mother and former pre-school teacher, I thought I was long over any squeamishness from getting spit up on, pee'd or pooped on. It comes with the territory right? And the cute little ones don't know any better, but they can learn. Even when they are ill...once older, my own offspring at least knew to drag themselves to the nearest bathroom to try and minimize the mess from either end, lol.

But my full grown DH is completely at a loss and there is nothing to do here, but Keep Calm and Clean It Up. Definitely don't worry about random vents or rants here if it helps. We understand. And remember, when you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!

tigersmom · February 11

JC5, I am sorry to say that I see you one and raise you one. Recently my DH stopped wiping himself after urinating with toilet paper that he invariably threw in the trash. What was he using to wipe himself, I wondered. Well, I discovered, his bath towel or the hand towel, whichever was closer! If you use the bathroom at my house, don't use the hand towels!

Jeannielou · February 11

oh~ I can hardly wait for these behaviors to begin

Ed1937 · February 13

Venting is not only allowed, but encouraged. Yes, this stuff is hard, but when you can just write it down, sometimes it helps a little.

JC5 · February 13

Thank you and appreciate having a platform to just vent what ever and know it’s ok!

Joydean · February 13

My dh who used to have oily skin now has developed very dry skin. He honestly looks like someone shedding his skin. Mainly on his face, head and around his ears. Very scaly. I have more bottles and jars of lotions and creams than the drugstore. Even prescriptions. Nothing has worked. So I am retrying baby oil. As I rub it on his face and head he smiles at me and makes a sign with his hand like he’s scratching , I ask him does his skin itch and he shakes his head yes. I am saying this because maybe your husband’s skin itches and is drying out causing all the flaking. The baby oil is now helping my dh’s skin and is looking better and he’s not scratching like before. Don’t know if this will help you or not.

Judy.T. · February 14

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/197892#Comment_197892

Tigers mom I thought my husband was the only one who did this. I have started saying using the guest bath and telling him it is broken so I locked it. Now I get a clean bathroom and know everything is OK to use.

Heritageposey1 · February 14

Mom my is constantly saying I hate this place, I can't stand it here. I want to go home. She wants to go to a place she hasn't been to in over 50 years. She goes in the kitchen and packs the silverware in plastic bags, I'll unpack and she packs again. All day long she says help me, help help help, I'll say what do you need mom, she say I don't know yet. I gave up my life, family, job and friends to come and take care of her. She my stepmother. I mived her next to her biological son hoping I'd have more help to no avail. His wife is worried about her getting all the property and belongings. I still get no more help. I'm coming to my wits end and knowing that it's only going to get worse is frustrating. Sorry for the long post. I've only been doing this 2 years, and last may she had a fall and broke an arm and a leg which just adds to everything.

tigersmom · February 14

@Judy.T. , thank you for the laugh -- and the validation. Just goes to show you that no matter how bizarre you think the behavior is, you are never alone. Someone else here has already experienced it!

Gross behaviors ?

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