Need help and advice for incontinence

Brokenhearted, I recently took the advice of @Ed1937 and called parentgiving.com ; the phone number is on their website. I spoke to a very helpful rep who listened to my specifics and then sent me samples, two each, of the products we thought might work best. I really advise you to do this. The Incontinence briefs I selected for my husband were a total flop; wrong size to begin with, and probably not up to the task. I have not had to use the replacements yet. Instead, like @Beachfan , I have become the pee police. He gets a reminder to go every two hours. He goes before we leave the house, whether he thinks he needs to or not. At ADS, make sure you ask the aides to remind him on that schedule. It has helped a lot. If he wakes in the night, I ask him to go, too. I know the day is coming when he'll need what I bought, but I feel better prepared. Folks are reluctant to make specific recommendations of products because what works for my DH might not work for yours. But parent giving can help you figure it out. They have lots of products that are not available in drug stores or big box stores, and many folks say they work better than the widely available ones here. Please call them.

We use a good quality pair of soft comfortable pull-ups and add a heavy duty pad to the inside. The pad is a thick one, the type designed for women after childbirth. It has a sticky backing that keeps it in place in the pull-up. If we check every couple hours we can often replace just the pad. At night I poke about 5 little holes in the sticky backing of the pad before placing it in the pull-up. That way, when the pad gets saturated it leaks down into the pull-up where it is absorbed, rather than over the sides.

We use large washable soft pad that has a moisture proof barrier in it on the bed. On top of that we use an extra large puppy pee pad. We usually have a couple wet spots on the pee pad, but not often on the washable pad. In the 2+ years of urinary incontinence, we’ve never had it reach the fitted bed sheet. My DH sleeps on his back and barely moves during the night so that probably helps.

I use the absorbent pads on top of the sheet. that eliminates having to change sheets in the middle of the night. I take the pad off and replace it .Easier to wash the pads