Hallmark holiday fatigue
Not sure if this is a rant or a vent or just a sadness. I’m not normally very susceptible to Hallmark holidays, but Valentines is getting to me this year. I think it’s because my partner’s birthday is also fast approaching in early March, and any talk of it makes her cry- she will be 83, her mother died at 83, and so if I mention her birthday she immediately starts talking about death.
I just miss her so much. I will visit tomorrow, but probably won’t mention the date or observe it except in my own heart.
On a lighter note, WP had an article about backlash against Valentine’s Day among the younger generations. Their top contender for an anti-Valentine promotion was an animal rescue (mid-Atlantic area) that would name a feral cat after your ex and neuter it. Meowch….
Comments
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Sometimes, I just love this younger generation. Meowch indeed!
Big hug to you in the sadness. I never really knew I could miss my DW so much all while she's sitting right next to me on the couch. We have been lucky to have loved and been loved so dang much, but boy, does that leave a void as it slips away.
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I'm sorry the forced holiday feels like salt rubbed into a wound.
Much as a little celebration is welcome in the cold grey winter, it feels forced. FWIW, I feel the same about New Years Eve as if some arbitrary night was chosen to make one feel like a loser if they don't participate in the ritual of poor service, astronomical pricing and hangovers.
HB
PS I'm with your LO, I've disliked observing my birthday since I turned 10. What do I want to do for my birthday they ask yearly. Every year I say pretend it doesn't exist. It hasn't happened yet.
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My new favorite word ~~Meowch💕 Yes, it’s a sucky day tomorrow. We were engaged on V-Day, but my DH doesn’t know that. What’s funny is that he bought flowers/really a plant a week ago. It is in his closet. He doesn’t know that I keep watering the poor thing💙
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sadness....understood and shared.............
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Every holiday is sad and reminds how much things have changed. My DH never missed a holiday without a loving card or note. He used to have some artistic skills and sometimes surprised me with something he made. Those days are over now.
Our news station a few weeks ago had an event you could buy or make up cards with words of kindness for the nursing home residents. The News people then delivers to those homes in our area. Thought it was something we could do during colder weather. He looked to me for direction and I realized most of his artistic skills were gone.
Over the weekend I asked about a box in his office that was marked miscellaneous. He didn’t know what was in it and told me to open. There were all my cards that I gave him when we were dating 34 years ago. I had no idea he kept all of them. Made me little sad that he didn’t care to look at them with me.
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Every day here seems so much like every other day. My husband isn’t the man he used to be, but he is still the man I love. There is too much sadness lately. Too many holidays have passed without any acknowledgement on my part or his. There isn’t much I can do to make things better, but this year I have to try. I bought 6 big Valentines helium balloons at the Dollar Store this afternoon, that I placed around the great room where we spend all our time.I also got some Valentines cards because he still likes to open and look at cards. I put together a Valentines dance list on Alexa, because he likes music and although his legs are getting weaker, he can still dance a little with my help. I’ll make a nice dinner and get a Valentines cake at the bakery tomorrow. He still likes cake.
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I am glad you make the best of it. Music is good for the soul! It works for us if it is the type of music my DH enjoys! A cherry pie did make his day!
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DH never failed to give me and my young daughter (his stepdaughter) chocolates on VDay. She is an adult now, but I wonder if she misses them as much as I do. Getting them from me is not the same as his thoughtfulness always was.
Today, I have to puree everything DH eats, so I will skip the special meal some of you are planning, since blending up surf and turf or even a cute piece of cake does not sound easy or appetizing.
I'm not depressed, as this wasn't a day we ever went wild over but it was always a little special acknowledgement between us at least that we are soulmates, together forever, and so in love. We felt lucky.
So yeah, another commercial reminder of what we have lost, and still slip-sliding away. Sigh.
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((Hugs)) for all who are sad and grieving today. DH and I never really celebrated Valentine's Day but always acknowledged our love in a quiet way. A couple of weeks ago, DH made a card for me (with great help from the activities assistant). Written inside in his very shaky handwriting is "I Love You". I will treasure it forever. I will be visiting him today, bringing a card and his favorite ice cream. As he has spent most of this week rather tired and lethargic, I will sit beside him knitting while he rests/naps in his Broda with his badly swollen feet/legs up (CHF). Trying to have no expectations, just grateful to be with him in the moment.
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ButterflyWings Im guessing she does. My dad sometimes git me a box of Cella chocolate covered cherries for my birthday and I don’t think many years if any have go e by without me remembering it.
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Feeling the same as you all...DH proposed to me on Valentine's Day 37 years ago, but he no longer remembers that. We still have the Christmas tree up with Valentine's Day decorations on it but I don't think he understands the holiday anymore. That slow slipping away of the man I love is so hard to take. But caring and understanding hearts are all over this wonderful forum!
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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