She wouldn't like it . . .

Ghphotog I understand how you feel. I miss my husband a lot. I have changed up our house to suit me and I tell him about it. He is in my heart and when I am busy it helps. I find notes written by him, addresses and phone numbers and I hold them in my hand to feel him near. Visit your wife, hold her hand and talk to her. No, she won’t care about the living-room but I imagine she will be happy to see you. I wish you the best.

Coming up on two years since MC, and I have cleaned out bathroom vanity drawers, but I can't bring myself to touch her closet, her clothes, multiple beautiful pairs of cowgirl boots. Much less any of the multiple other sites that will need cleaning--the garage, the barn, her workshop. The knowledge is there and I keep telling myself I would feel better to tackle just one shelf at a time, but it's not there.

Good for you for making a start gh. This is a marathon not a sprint, right?

Ghphotog it takes time. I walked that road changing things and eventually moving,then the realization dw was never coming home. Because home was already gone for her and me. So much we caregivers deal with. Stage 8 finds bags and bins of dw's clothes and family keepsakes. Clothes have gone to a NH rehab place as it only takes Medicaid so the residents if they have no family can't afford clothes. The staff often take a resident to the thrift store for clothing so for me it's a win win situation. Life does go on! It has to or dementia claims 2 lives. Dementia did take a part of my life but now I am claiming it back. Your just starting and that is a very positive thing that your doing. I am glad it's going well for your dw.

Stewart

My H has been in MC 5 months. I rearrange the living room pretty quickly as it better suited the two goldens that want to be in my lap. It took me a few weeks to feel comfortable there, though. And his chair is still there. I've been using the master bedroom less than a month. It still feels weird. Can't bring myself to use the toilet in the master bath. (Maybe TMI.) My clothes are still in the other room.

I was involved with a support group for people who had lost loved ones to suicide. The spouses ran a wide range in how they approached rooms/possessions. Both types of loss are tragic events and carry with them trauma. There is no correct answer to how something needs to be done.

I believe: Healing comes before action. We could all give ourselves a little more grace. There is no need to "Should" all over ourselves. And no action should be taken in haste. There is a big difference between "I need to do it" and "I'm ready to do it." Wishing everyone a measure of peace.

This.

@ThisLife said: "...I believe: Healing comes before action. We could all give ourselves a little more grace. There is no need to "Should" all over ourselves. And no action should be taken in haste. There is a big difference between "I need to do it" and "I'm ready to do it." Wishing everyone a measure of peace."

#truth