Have any questions about how to use the community? Check out the Help Discussion.

2 Parents with dementia & memory care

amyg1970
amyg1970 Member Posts: 2
First Comment
Member
in Caring for a Parent

Hello, new to the group. I have both my parents in memory care against their will. I know it's where they need to be, but they are both in denial that they cannot go back to their home and "live their life". They are blaming me for their situation and it breaks my heart. Anyone else in a similar situation?

Comments

  • Anonymousjpl123
    Anonymousjpl123 Member Posts: 907
    250 Likes 250 Care Reactions 500 Comments Third Anniversary
    Member

    Yes. Sadly, as my mom has progressed, it has mattered less to her that she is there (although she does still complain). It’s a terrible disease. I think people miss their old lives, what they had. Much easier to blame the decision-maker/care giver.

    The only thing I have found that helps is finding things my mom likes - special lunches, tv shows, clothing, visits, etc. I’m not sure how far advanced your parents are and if they can leave, but if not, perhaps you can bring them magazines to look through, snacks, anything to make them feel more “normal.” This helped my mom especially in the beginning.

    It is very normal to feel blamed and guilty, but neither is logical. I promise you did the right thing.

  • amyg1970
    amyg1970 Member Posts: 2
    First Comment
    Member

    Thank you both for your responses. Life certainly didn't come with a playbook!

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

Community Guidelines


Click here to review the ALZConnected Community Guidelines

Categories