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How do you get through your day?

MN774
MN774
10 Comments 5 Care Reactions
Member
in Caring for a Parent

What keeps you going when you feel just so defeated?

Comments

  • psg712
    psg712
    250 Care Reactions 250 Likes 500 Comments 100 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Faith that God is with us, he loves my mom more than I do and he gives me strength when I just don't have it. Support from folks who understand (including the folks here on this site - I have learned so much and received really good advice and comfort here!). Going to watch my son play ball and just take a break from thinking about mom's issues! Finding the humor in some of the situations - a good cry is therapeutic, a good laugh is heartening.

    Hang in there friend. Don't be afraid to seek professional help if you are sinking under the weight of it all. You are not alone.

  • catminor
    catminor
    25 Care Reactions 10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Quiet time alone. Venting to closest friends. Snuggling with my fur baby. Sleep! Sometimes the distraction of working a couple of days a week at my job. Putting on Cozy Room TV and reading a book to escape reality. Cooking myself a really nice meal. Lavender Epson Salt baths. Shopping online for cheap silly stuff that makes me and my cat happy at home. Watching Dr. Who. Sleep (worth repeating!) 😊

  • scoutmom405
    scoutmom405
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    In Oct 23 I was starting to feel overwhelmed. Dementia progressing for 91 Vet FIL. I reached out to our caregiver support coordinator & she helped set up in home respite services. Since Nov 23 I have 6 hrs a week where respite sitter comes & relieves me. At 1st I'd just go to my room & lay down. It felt like such a gift. Now I'm able to get out for a few hours. Sometimes it's Target & coffee. Lunch with my own dad.

    I'm truly appreciative of the VA caregiver program & their services.

  • irene912
    irene912
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Likes 5 Care Reactions
    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/68184/how-do-you-get-through-your-day

    Do little things for yourself. Eat something you love, quiet time with a book or soft music, spend time with a pet, take a walk. I love to read. Drink wine! Or, get on here & vent.

  • sandra2671
    sandra2671
    First Comment
    Member
    I really feel finding ways to not feel too defeated is the hardest part of this whole thing. I like having a nice hot cup of coffee, petting my dog, writing my feelings down, and anything creative helps me a lot. I am not a creative person but enjoy trying to be.
  • Rich Petersen
    Rich Petersen
    First Comment
    Member

    Nazai, I work from home and take care of my mom 24x7. Due to a unique situation, my wife has to live in another county until she retires at the end of this school year. So I am effectively by myself, and work from home.

    I understand what you are feeling. I mentioned that I myself feel like an anvil in a blacksmith shop, constantly getting beat down by a hammer. It's hard.

    I've learned to relish the times I take my dogs for walks, go to my woodshop to work on something, and especially the nighttime when my mom goes to sleep and I have a few hours of peace where I can read a book or simply go on the back deck and relax with my dogs. I've accepted that I'll rarely have a day off, and I'll never be able to have a vacation until my mom passes. So I've altered my thinking to really enjoy the few minutes I make for myself during the day.

    My wife, when she comes up for the weekend, tries to take as much of a load off me as possible. But, I try to isolate my family from her "wrath" and let me be the bad guy. So to my mom, I'm the anti-Christ, but that allows me to somewhat insulate my wife and children, so I'm willing to accept it. So even when she is here, I will handle things when my mom has an "episode".

    So I guess what I'm trying to say is that, as others have posted, try to carve out a few minutes here, or there, and know that what you are doing is precious. I know my father is looking down on me as my mother's parents are, and that the good Lord is as well. That is my source of strength, but I also try to take care of myself as well whenever possible.

  • MN774
    MN774
    10 Comments 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    Hi everyone,

    I really appreciate the thoughts that all of you shared on how you get through your day. My dad is in LTC and 3,000 miles away, so I don't have the day-to-day care like some of you have shared in your responses, but still, there are days that are really hard and I struggle with thoughts of "how did we get here?" and "did we do the right thing by placing him in LTC?" and also, that I am so far away, I don't always know what his day-to-day is like. It makes me incredibly sad to see my dad going this route towards the end of his life, this is not how I imagined things would be or how want to remember him.

    Thank you all for sharing how you get through - I am grateful that this community exists!

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

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