Looking to connect first time . New

Hello and welcome. Yes, we have had some people fade away and others who think “ he seems fine to me”. Keep reading the posts here and know that all are here to help and support. This is a hard , expensive and exhausting disease.

So true. I think either people afraid to be with them or just don’t want to deal with it.

My therapist says a lot of people just scatter. I try not to judge. The ones who stick around are wonderful.

This forum is a respite for me, I feel heard and accepted. My DH is still in denial and I don't know if or when we can openly discuss what is happening. Thankfully within the last couple of weeks we've updated and completed financial issues to prepare for the future. This step is monumental that involved many conversations, all while skirting the obvious. It has been emotionally exhausting but I persevered due to the info I've received here, family and even my own Dr. ( who disclosed her own family loved one with the disease). Thanks for listening and for being here. I hope this will help others facing similar challenges.

Tom, I am so sorry you have to be here but welcome. You really are among friends here and they will not scatter. I have learned that people (myself included) often fail to grasp the depth of people's struggles and pain still they have experienced it. People are not comfortable with the disease; they don't know how to act or what to say. I remember being like that when an acquaintance's husband developed Alzheimer's. I just had no grasp of the difficulty, pain and hardship. Try not to be angry because it will only tear you up inside. It is so hard watching others live their normal lives and our loved ones and ourselves are just struggling to get through every day. If I hadn't found this forum, I would be lost. These are your people now and you will find the best of the best here. Stay strong and keep us informed.

Hi Tom,

You will receive a lot of good advice and support here. Have you connected with Elder Services?

Do you get Meals On Wheels? I found this to be a God send, and its also great to have someone checking in every day to say hello and check on things. Your local Council On Aging has a lot of resources that you might be able to tap into. Please reach out to them. I was able to get a lot of things for free, as my local senior center stockpiles incontinence supplies, walkers, etc. We also have a day program here for people with dementia. They provide transportation to and from if you don't drive.

If you can afford to hire someone even for a few hours a week to sit with your wife, I recommend that you

do that. Even if you just take a nap or go for a walk, you need some respite time , and help with some personal care for her to give you a break.

This is hard, lonely, and exhausting. Please stay on the forum we are here for you.

Maureen

Nothing but respect!

Tom,

We experienced the disappearing act from some very close friends and family and, at first, I was saddened and deeply disappointed. In time, I came to accept that for many people this is too hard a journey, and to focus on those friends and family members who could tough it out with us. Dealing with my DW’s AD was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Saddest and loneliest too. This wonderful generous caring community makes it less so. I’m glad you found it.

@Tlf44 Tom, I'm sorry. I usually spell it out in the post, but didn't this time. A CELA is a certified elder law attorney.