Increased short term memory loss?
The past month has been yet another eye opener! DH short term memory is getting worse, to the point where he doesn’t remember a conversation we had 3 minutes ago! What does this mean? I know this awful dementia is progressing but I don’t know what stage he’s in! So far he can take care of his daily and personal needs (except he doesn’t shower). Sweets have become his favorite food often eating a bit or two of his meal and then looks for something sweet. He refuses to help with chores but chooses to watch tv all day. He’s constantly looking for me and won’t go anywhere now without me. He considers walking to the car and sitting there his exercise for the day, while I run in and out doing errands. I can’t find a daycare near me for him to go to nor would he want to. I just want some guidance. I’ve read the stages but still not sure. Thanks for letting me rant once again.
Comments
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JC, I get it. My wife asked me 3 times within 5 minutes what time it was. It's hard. Stages are not always easy to determine since symptoms often vary between 2 or more stages. I'm sorry it's so hard, but my advice would be to not worry too much about which stage he is in, and focus on the symptoms he has today. One day at a time.
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There are no boundaries for stages. It is a steady decline and behaviors slip back and forth. All a caregiver can do is adjust to whatever behavior is being shown and to keep in touch with the neurologist.
Honestly, I have never really understood the helpfulness of "stages" since they have no boundaries and each person with this disease progresses at their own rate and it is also dependent on what kind of dementia and the diagnosis of what kind of dementia is still an educated guess.
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All a caregiver can do is adjust to whatever behavior is being shown and to keep in touch with the neurologist.
I don't think my DW's neurologist is at all useful. How does keeping in touch help?
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I agree with others that dwelling on what "stage" our LO is in is not helpful. I also don't find input from the neurologist to be helpful.
We can learn a great deal from each other on this platform, but even that must be taken with a grain of salt.
This disease affects each person differently and each of our LO's react differently to the effects of the disease and other stimuli. Each of us is on our own path, blazing our own trail , but we don't need to reinvent the wheel, we can rely on each other for help and support.
I seem to be contradicting myself, but this road we are on is rife with contradictions.
In the end all we can do is the best we can do. We'll probably never feel it is enough, but it is our best.
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Refuses to help with chores---probably means he can't remember the steps to accomplish any chore. This is apathy and loss of executive function---dementia is so much more than memory loss.
I would worry about leaving him alone in a car. He could wander off at any time.
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The only reasons I find stages helpful is 1) stage descriptions tells me what might happen next and 2) there’s an average duration for each stage - which sort of twlks you how long you have until the next shoe drops.
Mom lost her short term memory a few years ago. We’ve had those every three minute conversations ever since. Yet she’s still in stage 4 - mild dementia. Short term memory loss is one of the earlier signs
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Thank you Ed appreciate your advice!
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Your response is very helpful! It validates my feeling that there are no set criteria for each stage. Just so hard to navigate! Than you
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Thank you!
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Very helpful. Thank yoo
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My DH was diagnosed July, 2021 with YOAD and soon after, a 2nd diagnosis of FTD. He turns 60 in July. I have been very surprised with the accelerated rate of his decline and especially how shortened his short-term memory has become. He doesn't need assistance with any ADLs, but often needs reminding about showering, shaving and wearing deodorant, appropriate clothing. I work full time and wish that we had an adult day care I could take him to for socialization and brain stimulation other than Netflix.
My fear is about him becoming incontinent. This will change everything. I work full time and he is safely home alone, at least for now. Anyone wiling to share if you are dealing with incontinence? I want to be prepared for it, but know that it will be hard to accept and manage. Should I start stocking up on adult diapers/disposable underwear now?
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I agree, I never see the point of stages.
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Yes, I made that mistake a few months ago. Went back to the car after shopping and he's not there. The car is still running for the a/c. I go into the store and go through all the isles and can't find him. I head back to the car and look at another car and he's in it😳 I get him out and say you're in the wrong car. He had went into the store and couldn't find me and returned to the wrong car. I will never do that again!
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JC, I am in a very similar situation. I am 66, my DH is 76. My DH's short term memory is near zero and it gets extremely frustrating to answer the same question so many times in the span of an hour. He follows me everywhere too and is always looking for me if I'm not in the room. This is apparently a very common behavior called shadowing - it's because they are insecure without their person around. He comes everywhere with me and doesn't have much to do so I basically have very little time to myself. This was very, very hard at first but surprisingly I'm getting used to it. I try to keep him active but he's wanting to do less and less exercise. I don't think he would at all be amenable to a day care at this point and without kids or any family close by, it's just me right now. I am adapting as best I can and realizing that my retirement is not what I planned - the books I wanted to read, the traveling I wanted to do, the volunteering I had to quit is all part of being the wife of a PWD. Participating in this forum is a lifeline!
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@Resilient1 Welcome to the forum, but sorry you have a need for it. You will likely get more answers to any questions you have if you start a new discussion. When you post something like that in an ongoing thread, you probably will not get as many answers because people often reply to a thread once, and they might not post on that thread again.
But I will give you a little input on one part of your post. You asked if you should buy incontinence wear so you will have it on hand when the time comes. This is something I wouldn't suggest because you never know which ones will work for you. People here can tell you what worked best for them, but they might not be best for you, so you don't want to invest in something that simply will not work well for you. When the time comes, please ask for recommendations for incontinence supplies.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
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