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LJCHR · March 12

My DH has been declining over the last month after he had an episode that could have been a seizure. I wasn't here at the time but he described it as a blankness for about 5 minutes. Since then, he has started openly discussing his dementia/Alzheimers. He said he couldn't remember very much and told me he was scared. I told him I was scared too.

I monitor his computer each day - going to history to make sure he hasn't done something that needed to be corrected, ie. buying something, etc.

The strange thing to me is he googles his old girlfriend's (from the '60s) picture several times a day. She passed away several years ago.

I'm assuming this is part of him trying to remember. He seems to also be distancing himself from me - which I think is normal for this disease.

Appreciate any experiences you guys have had with this type of change.

M1 · March 12

You probably need to have him evaluated for seizures....did you let his doctor know?

Pat6177 · March 12

I agree with M1, you need to let his dr know about the episode.

when you talk of him looking up the old girlfriend and distancing himself from you, I wonder if he’s losing his long term memory? They say some people lose their long term memory as last in first out. My DH has lost a lot of his long term memory and it didn’t strictly follow that pattern. But often he does not remember who I am. Or he seems to know me but doesn’t realize we are married. He usually doesn’t realize that I am the person in our wedding picture. When he asks who the woman is, I tell him it’s a much younger version of me.

Maybe you could ask him a question here and there that would give you some idea if he is losing long term memory. He might be living in the 1960’s.

ButterflyWings · March 12

@LJCHR - it does sound like sometimes he may be time traveling. Have you read the excellent article "Understanding Dementia..." by J Ghent-Fuller? It explains this. I've linked it for you, below.

DH did that and may still but just can't tell me any more. His short term memory is shot but longer term memory hangs around longer for him with Alz. For example, when he was able to talk more he still recalled the people and activities he used to do many decades ago, and sometimes thought he had to go get his dad from work (long deceased), and asked me a few times where the baby was (I think he was a young GI at that moment, with his first child and wife).

Like your DH is surfing the web, my beloved used to grab, sift through, and sometimes just stare at mail almost as if he was studying the name and address on the envelope to figure out who and where he was, or who I am, I think. It is an odd feeling isn't it? A little twinge of sadness and I'm not sure what all else that we feel. You did the right thing. Just going with the flow as best you can is the way to go.

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580

harshedbuzz · March 12

@LJCHR

My dad was a time traveler. Memory seems to be LIFO. We were fortunate that he spent the most time mentally in a happy period of his life (1970s) when he was teaching, he and mom were getting along, I was in college and my sister was still alive and well. He would often bring up random coworkers and friends from that era that we barely remembered. Sometimes he would badger my mom to find specific outfits from that era <shudder> including those loud polyester plaid pants.

I would caution you about the internet. Checking history is not enough to keep you safe. He could fall prey to an online scam, phishing email or make bad financial decisions that can't be undone. Mom let dad have the internet long after we warned her to make it go away. She didn't want to deal with the fallout and liked the break it gave her. Not long after dad was diagnosed, I took a look at their investments and discovered dad had day-traded away $360K-- mom paid a high price for that quiet time.

HB

LJCHR · March 13

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/201811#Comment_201811

Thank you for your response. We have a doctors appt in June. We are seeing a new Neurologist and very happy about that. My friend uses her and she is compassionate and caring. Also specializes in Parkinson’s and Dementia. I have a full list of things to bring up.

LJCHR · March 13

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/201813#Comment_201813

Thank you for responding. I do believe he is going back using his long term memory. I dread the day he forgets who I am, but fear it will happen now sooner than later. This horrible disease is relentless.

LJCHR · March 13

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/201816#Comment_201816

Thank you for your response. I have read Understanding Dementia and actually shared the link with our children.

I did go back and reread time travel and can see this is most likely what’s happening. You’re right, it is an odd feeling that your husband is going back to look at pictures of old girlfriends, but it is not a jealousy but rather an extreme sadness that this is where this horrible disease has taken him (and me).

I am terrified now of where we are in this journey and can see things getting much harder quicker than I wanted. Even though you understand, it is still hurtful.

LJCHR · March 13

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/201827#Comment_201827

Thank you for your response. I agree he is time traveling. And thanks for the heads up on the internet, I will be more diligent keeping an eye on what he’s doing.

M1 · March 13

LJCHR, June is a long time away. I would not wait that long for a seizure evaluation. I think you need to call the doctors he is seeing now to see what can be done in the mean time. If he has more, it could do more damage, or he could be injured or even die.

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