Running out of steam…for now

We hear you.

Maybe anything working from home? My neighbor works part-time for some insurance company. Just a thought.

Yeah - we HATE 'this'.

((hugs))

She hasn't mentioned which one, so I don't ask. She is a very nice neighbor who tends to keep to herself, so I respect that. But like a lot of folks, she had to have a little more income as well. I get to talk to her when we are both outside at the same time - mail, trash-day, etc...

However - you can punch in "work-from-home insurance company" and there looks like quite a few options.

@AlzWife2023 I think I recall your kids urged you to quit working to take care of your DH. But probably neither they nor you realized how draining - physically, mentally, and emotionally - this dementia caregiving gig is.

You need respite breaks, and I hear you about going from 6 figures to the low 5's. It is a slap in the face in addition to losing your whole life as planned, and your spouse. Talk about a disastrous disease. It takes down 2 people regardless, but our job is to not let it take us out. Stats say that happens to 1/3 of CG's!

A long-time member, @Crushed, an amazing caregiver and ultra devoted spouse, used to post reminders that our #1 job is to survive our LO's disease. Whatever it takes. We give them the very best that we can, while knowing we cannot stop the progression and ultimate end of their journey. But we can, and must, work intentionally to not let their disease also kill us.

It is not easy to navigate all this, trust me - I know. And I have no idea if I will be able to resume any semblance of the career I had once DH is no longer here (which seems more and more like this may be his last year). Who knows what my mind, emotions, and physical state will be like? I think you are wise to vent here. And to try some respite options either with a companion caregiver (free via Age Options/Medicare maybe Medicaid too), or for a week with your DH in a facility or the kids coming in temporarily, relieving you.

Even a "regular" job gives you regular time off (evenings and weekends plus vacation time). This is 24/7, all-encompassing so you really do have to have some reset time. Even with the financial support your kids promised when getting you to give up your former career to do dementia caregiving, arguably one of the hardest jobs ever.

Hello I am 14 years on this Road @ButterflyWings remembers correctly

the comment is drawn from the quip Sieyès when asked what he had done during the French Reign of Terror, he famously replied, "J'ai vécu" ("I Survived"

No one has discussed talking to a lawyer about Medicaid I see what I think of as misunderstanding

your job has nothing to do with a spouses medicaid

killing yourself is not a solution I placed DW 6 1/2 years ago with the full support of my family

DW is stage 7 and in memory care 14 years after first being diagnosed. My Children and grand children want me to survive. I am lucky that finances are not an issue We can pay for both her and myself.

I see her every day on face time and once a week in person. It's been 5 years since she had any conscious response to me or anyone else. I digitized 25 photos of her yesterday that my sister sent. She is 71 lovely as ever. We were married 49 years ago in May. She was a brilliant physician, a wonderful mother and as CS Forrester wrote "a loving companion and a companionable lover"

I was her 24/7/365 caretaker for 7 years