ADL hints
Is there a specific section that discusses how to's of ADL?
I'm struggling with toileting. I don't know how to help my sweet husband. Pad boosters, adult briefs, cleaning, etc. I keep thinking I'm making it harder on myself.
This diagnosis was a shock to me. How do I adjust, where do I go for help, etc. The one thing that has stayed the same is my sweet husband is still very sweet to me, even when I lose patience. He has always tolerated my Italian temper because, as he still says "She calms down immediately. I know she loves me." ❤️
Didn't mean to go off topic. So is there a place I can read or discuss how to's?
Comments
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Teepa Snow has excellent videos on many caregiving topics- this one's on toileting.
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Also this playlist-
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Thanks. I did watch those. I like her, but sometimes the videos don't offer enough specifics. For example, how bad is it to put two booster pads (one in front, one in back) in a high functioning adult brief? My LO eats his regular diet (which is healthy!) and has to toilet many times a day (which is healthy!) and a few times at night.
I guess I'll continue searching. I'm pretty sure I'm not handling somethings in the right way and it causes distress and loss of sleep when it happens at night.
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I do not think anything that works and is not harmful is bad.
Have you limited fluid intake in the evening? You might both get more sleep.
All questions are welcome and the replies usually help more than the original poster so keep them coming.
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Thanks. I will think about the limiting fluids late in the day. He always drank a lot of fluids, juice especially, his whole life. But I may need to curtail that.
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If you have a copy of The 36 Hour Day, you may find chapter 5 helpful. I know I did. Both the toileting and the showering sections.
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Thank you. I started it but felt it didn't provide enough specifics for me. I did nonot get to Chapter 5 though. Will try again.
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What specifically do you want to know? The members here can provide your answers.
Iris
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Iris, thanks for asking...but it may be TMI for a public forum. So continue only if you can stomach the description of our problem.
How safe is it for someone to wear an adult brief and two booster pads for overnight?
My DH has always gone to bathroom several times during the night. But now he doesn't remember to pull down his pants far enough and ends up peeing on his clothes. I've asked him to call for me if he thinks he needs to go, and that sometimes works. I go in with him and pull down the clothes/briefs so he doesn't wet himself.
I tried bag urinals and he hated it (I don't blame him.)
1) That means we don't get much sleep.
2) when he goes by himself, then there is a massive cleanup.
Bulking up the adult brief seems uncomfortable, and I wonder if it is sage. Also, if he urinated a couple of times a night, that brief with double pads are going to be ugly.
Ugh
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There is not much that is TMI. You are not the first dealing with your problem. There are many threads dealing with incontinence, pull-ups, mattress pads and the like. Be specific and you will be amazed at the responses that you receive.
Iris
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Quick Change Incontinence wraps made the biggest difference for us. My husband is 67 and has been incontinent for a couple of years now. We tried nighttime briefs, mattress pads, booster pads but every morning he woke up soaking wet. This caused so much extra work for me - laundry, shower, etc. Quick Change made a world of difference overnight. He wears two as instructed on the package along with a brief. Yes, it is bulky but he no longer wakes up wet and I am not burdened with extra chores to start the day.
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@northernlady
Wow, that was the least TMI in the history of TMIs.
You have a laundry problem. You've gotten some good advice.
Are the boosters meant to be boosters or do they have a waterproof backing? Have you spoken with customer service at one of the companies that serve this population which a better range of products than your local CVS?
I believe both these companies will send out trial materials so you can try new options without committing to a whole package.
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Really? I was dying typing that TMI out. Shame that I can't figure this out, sorrow for my previously fastidious husband for having a partner who cant figure this out, and having access to a major university who after diagnosis sent us out the door with nary a pamphlet. Sigh.
I have been buying adult briefs and booster pads from ParentGiving, not CVS (did I say that? I apologize if I implied I was purchasing from retail stores.) My worry is if this is safe for him to be wet/or soiled if I can't get him changed quickly enough.
thank you for responding.1 -
@northernlady
Really, I have ready much worse and much more graphic accounts. We even have a name for that subset of us dealing with incontinence— the Blue Glove Club.
IME, the major university hospitals are great for getting the most accurate diagnosis and access to some of the newest treatments and trials, but they offer next-to-nothing in the way of advice for daily management of care.
I agree that one of the most painful parts of this disease is watching a formerly fastidious individual struggle with the basics of hygiene. My dad had been a handsome and well groomed man who generally showered 2-3 times a day with changes of clothing from business-casual work to golf or gym clothing and then into something nicer for dinner out. Watching him spend a week in the same food-encrusted shirt without a shower or allowing dental care was awful. His pre-dementia-self would have been horrified and my mom's heart was broken.
It's great that you've found ParentGiving.
The verdict on wet incontinence products is not completely straightforward. Soiled (fecal incontinence) need to be changed quickly because feces can break down the skin quickly and also bacteria can travel to the urethra and cause a UTI. Urine also has these risks, but it would take longer for it to be an issue— especially in men. Women are disproportionately impacted by UTIs— especially in dementia. A good barrier cream can help protect the skin.
You could ask his doctor. We worried about how long was too long for a urine soaked Depends and dad's doctor assured us overnight was fine so long as he didn't develop a UTI or dermatitis. Dad fought mom on changes, so this was an issue at her house.
So far as we know, dad never developed a UTI, but we were always on the lookout.
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My new best friend! --- smile ---
Thank you these details. And do the Blue Glove Club members get matching t-shirts? I feel like we need matching t-shirts.
Your dad sounds exactly like my husband. He used to complain when my girls (his step daughters) took long showers until I suggested HIS three showers a day probably used more water! Hug your mom, take it from me, this degradation of my sweet husband is hard to witness.
And that's what we are. Witnesses.
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One of our members, @LadyTexan who isn't around as much now that her dear husband has passed, used this as her avatar.
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😅🤣😂🤣😅
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
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POA = Power of Attorney
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