Incontinence

Jazzma · February 17

My DH came home from the hospital yesterday with a new issue -- incontinence. I'm very happy to have him home and just want to deal with this as well as possible.

So my questions: What are the best incontinence products you've found? How do you deal with nighttime incontinence? My husband gets up 4-5 times a night to pee, and if I get up too we're fine. If I don't, he will pee anywhere including on the carpeted floor.

He's compliant with wearing Depends. I don't know if this is the best product since I can imagine developing diaper rash. Ideas?

I know there will be more crises and hospitalizations and I'm grateful that we still have some time at home. He really is a wonderful man, even with the dementia. He chatters nonsense happily all day and I'm happy to listen.

Thanks for your thoughts.

trottingalong · February 17

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/68210/incontinence

I’m interested to hear replies. I’ve been dealing with night incontinence in combination with COPD exacerbations.

M1 · February 17

Jazzma, did he come home on antibiotics? A lot of antibiotics will cause diarrhea, so if that's the case it could be a temporary problem (if it's fecal, you didn't say). Yogurt and probiotics might help, but the thing that will help the most is stopping the antibiotic when appropriate.

Ed1937 · February 18

Jazzma, I'm guessing it is only urinary incontinence. I dealt with this for some time, and I have more than once recommended parentgiving.com for supplies. They have a lot of high end incontinence wear, from pull ups to diapers. There is a phone number on the website that you can call to explain your situation, and they can help you decide what to try. I found the dry direct pull ups (made in Italy) to be very good, but that might not be best for you. Even when there is a lot of urine in them, they seem to keep the urine away from your skin. You can order samples, and that's what I would recommend because people are different, and a certain brand will not be best for everyone. If you are not knowledgeable about layering a bed, let us know. Someone will explain it, and why it makes life easier.

loretta1835 · March 31

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/198653#Comment_198653

I sure understand your situation and commend you for searching for product solutions. I had my DH in AL thinking that would be best for both of us. I was wrong. He had fecal incontinence when he moved in but it cleared up with Metamucil, but urinary incontinence took over.

These problems resulted from 45 radiation treatments for prostate cancer - which saved his life but has left him with damaged bladder and rectal incontinence.

I was naive about AL care. He was taking care of himself and they did nothing to help him. I started going there every couple days until I found him with pee saturated clothing and bed clothes. So I started going over every day to strip his bed and clean up. He never complained but I had a fit!! I complained and complained but to no avail. I'd put the soaked items in large trash bags and set them outside his room for washing. I even emptied his overflowing trash can into trash bags and set them out for removal. I brought Lysol and a strong orange spray to get rid of horrible odor. (He has lost ability to smell). Finally I brought him home.

He's been diagnosed with vascular dementia, so I'm quite overwhelmed. I find comfort for other caregivers who share their stories. I'm going to order samples from parentgiving.com. Steps I've taken so far are getting hospital bed, replacing all carpeting with laminate flooring throughout house, hiring help for 2-3 hours a day mainly to take care of house and give me a break. I'm able to take care of his needs including meds and meals. I'm 78 and he is 75. Although the cost is high, it's much less than AL. I seem to be coping much better with situation now that I have come to terms with fact that facility care is not what I thought it was. It is a shame that facilities charge high prices and deliver poor or little service. Many of us think we're doing right thing to trust facilities but they take advantage of our desperation.

Please take good care of yourself because you are the only one who can navigate these treacherous waters with the help of organizations like ALZ.

jsps139_ · March 31

Thanks for sharing your story. It had to be heartbreaking to see your DH in those conditions. And it had to be maddening with you doing all their work. It sounds like you did a lot to get prepared for taking care of him at home where he’ll get great care from you and you will feel so much better knowing he is cared for. That scenario is the reason I am hoping to keep my DH home - I pray I’ll have the physical strength and mental strength to see it to the end. I’ll pray the same for you!

easy23 · March 31

My DH recently came home from the hospital and subacute rehab with urinary incontinence too. He was fine going in. I am also looking for the best products to keep the bed dry at night.

jfkoc · March 31

Also, please protect your furniture and mattress (all 6 sides).

SSHarkey · April 1

Definitely vinyl flooring and waterproof mattress pads. My DH is using the TENA brand products and likes them. I get them on Amazon. He started using them after his prostectomy. And has continued since.

loretta1835 · April 1

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/204091#Comment_204091

I've been trying different ones. I think Depends for men fit-flex maximum absorbency is best. He has damaged bladder from 45 prostate cancer radiation treatments. I got a hospital bed, which is easy to strip and wipe down. I put soaked PJs, sheets, blankets and washable large bed pads in washer every morning. I can't stand the smell. Someone told me to try Vicks right under my nose. I use Lysol and a strong orange spray. I'm looking for best cleaning solution to spray mattress and dribbles on floor.

I also replaced all carpets with wood laminate flooring.

Hope this helps.

easy23 · April 1

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/204160#Comment_204160

Yes that helps! Thanks!

aconite · April 2

I participate in a local support group for caregivers of different folks. A lady who cares for a mentally challenged adult (about 50 years old) spoke about how wonderful these sheets were. I have no experience with them but am sharing in case it might be helpful. https://peelaways.com/

Pinkscarf · April 5

My DH moved from AL to full-fledged MCF once he became incontinent, both urine and fecal. (AL would not deal with that.)

Even in MCF, the problem seems to be one no one has been able to figure out. I thought they'd have a system, maybe use special products or ask me to get them. But they do not. They just wait until there's an accident, which there is almost every day now, usually fecal.

The worst, for me anyway, has been the state of his room at times, with overflowing smelly garbage and a laundry basket full of poo-covered items. (Until this week, I had been taking his laundry home to wash, but I cannot handle it anymore.) The room never seems to get cleaned by the cleaning crew after an incident; they just wait until the regularly scheduled clean. I have brought my own cleaning products there and have even used a product that removes cat urine for areas in corners. Anything to make that room not smell so awful. My DH doesn't notice but I can't stand it.

Me caring for him at home alone is not an option, and I am very disappointed in the way this issue has been handled. Moving him is also not an option as I cannot afford another move and have no help.

BTW, he's in a top-rated facility!

jfkoc · April 5

6 sided waterproof mattress cover….lots of large waterproof pads….crib waterproof pad is very useful…shaving cream does a good job cleaning poop….

SSHarkey · April 6

How dreadful for you and for him. They must be understaffed and over worked. Yes, after taking care of him all this time, you expect that same level of care to continue, if not better. I’m so sorry. And unfortunately, I think this is probably pretty standard.

FTDCaregiver1 · April 7

only add to the good advice above as my DW has been incontinent for the past 3 years, on the issue of rashes, diaper rash cream has been very helpful, once it appears, deal with it quickly as sores could result.

AnderK · April 8

Zero Odor us my friend. I use a combo of the laundry one plus I spray all affected laundry with 50 50 vinegar and water before washing. Deep water wash, tea rinse. Sometimes more than once.

Zero Odor also has a spray that I use for Odor on furniture...hard and soft surfaces. I have pads on furniture, and also have some sunbrella cushions from costco on some chairs.

The product seems to build up some Odor tolerance, as well.

While the product has a smell, it is not fragrance, if that makes any sense . Available at Amazon, Chewy, I think Walmart and other places.

I also have a jar of Frsh Wave in my bathroom...more herbal smell. I half open the foul and give it a little swirl every now and then. Helps. Used on our boat for years. Have other thoughts on the rest, but will have post later. Getting to the witching hour.

Kathy

AnderK · April 8

As I wait for him to come to bed, I will add to my previous comments. I have a waterproof mattress cover on our bed. However, I also have an additional mattress pad that is not fitted on top of that. Actually, I have a spare as well, for midnight changes. I keep three sets of sheets clean. It was suggested to have two sets of pads snd sheets on the bed, so middle of the night changes just involve taking off the soiled ones. My sheets are so tight, I canbarely get one set on Time to switch to flat sheets only ,perhaps.

He has been incontinent since prostate cancer in 2019. At that time he was very conscientious about hygiene. Over the last year, that has gone by the wayside. He uses the night time defense Depends always. He does not change them when he should. I refuse to argue with him unless it is really bad. BTW, it is only urinary at present. I can't keep arguing with him. Upsets him, upsets me, and no change except for the heel marks on the floor from him digging in his heels.

Hope thus helps. Kathy

Incontinence

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