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Music - Putting on the Hits to Arrest Anxiety

Been battling anxiety with DW for roughly the whole way since she began showing symptoms 7 years ago. Though we've had good results with medication combos over the years, she spikes and most recently for a prolonged 2-3 week period. Ruling out health issues and stabilizing meds, I recently began reintroducing music again, low volume played over my sound system in the house with decent results. Though she's stage 6, can't sing along, almost no attention span, there are times she recognizes a particular song though as she may pop up and suddenly say "yup!" and attempt to get the beat with her hands...if only for a few seconds...Anyway, she smiles a lot more, even laughs, particularly when I show up dancing a bit/smiling or act goofy to the music. Music, at least for now, takes the anxiety edge off so I and caregivers at home can work with her without pushing through her anxiety first. When she's alone (boredom and not having anyone close by) seems to trigger anxiety. Hope it lasts, anyone else having some results with music?

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  • GothicGremlin
    GothicGremlin Member Posts: 857
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    I had really good results with music, so long as it was music that my sister (who also had FTD) knew and liked. So for us, it was lots of '80s music playing in the background. So much Madonna! 😄 This worked for us through stage 6, and the very beginnings of stage 7. Like your DW, my sister also couldn't sing the words, but she could often hum along and she could sometimes keep a beat. Still regretting the day I didn't take a video when we were chair dancing to Prince's "Kiss" well into stage 6. Well, regret is too strong a word - it would have been a "nice to have". But yeah, all of that music definitely put a smile on her face.

  • mpang123
    mpang123 Member Posts: 229
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    I brought my portable keyboard to my parent's place and played for them. It's great to see them enjoying the music. Very therapeutic.

  • rplourde50
    rplourde50 Member Posts: 39
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    I try to have a “mini concert” every day. It takes both of us away from concerns and brings us back to happy times.

  • dancsfo
    dancsfo Member Posts: 297
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    Music is always a good option. It may take some time to go through different genres or decades, as it may be the oldest tunes that bring joy, or on the other hand, something more recent. It's hard to tell. Don't forget to experiment with the volume or other adjustments, in case one is hard of hearing and can't hear well (or maybe can't hear the higher tones)

  • MN Chickadee
    MN Chickadee Member Posts: 888
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    edited March 28

    Music was the best medicine for my mother with Alz. I would bring a portable speaker to the memory care facility and any anxiety she had would melt away during that time. When she couldn't make conversation anymore our best outings were just going for a drive with a play list I made just for her. We also participated in a choir designed for people with dementia (PWD,) which I still volunteer with despite my mom having passed away. The PWD are so happy there. We all have some good laughs and you can tell their brains are firing on all cylinders. Moods elevate, skills improve, everyone leaves with a smile on their face. These choirs exist all over the US, people here should look them up! Towards the end of her Alz journey my mother was losing her ability to speak but she could still sing song lyrics. Long after she couldn't read words she could not only play the piano but also read music. It's truly incredible how music affects the brain. There are scientific explanations I never retain but it's definitely a thing with dementia.

  • Jeanne C.
    Jeanne C. Member Posts: 827
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    Music has been a miracle for us. I have echo dots in every room and almost nothing can soothe my husband like the Beatles or Elton John stations. He clearly recognizes the music of his childhood. He sometimes mumbles some of the lyrics under his breath, which is amazing because he doesn't speak much anymore. Hospice is sending a music therapist next week. I think he'll really enjoy that.

  • fmb
    fmb Member Posts: 398
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    With DH, it is classical music. I brought a boombox and a few CDs (Albinoni, Bach, Baroque mixes, etc.) to his AL residence, and I put the music on and we relax. He finds the music so soothing that he often falls asleep. Unfortunately he is far beyond being able to use the boombox himself. I don't have cognitive impairment but do suffer from anxiety that can be rather intense, especially lately. I stream classical music at home all day and find that it usually helps me to redirect my thoughts and be calmer. Music is very powerful.

  • dancsfo
    dancsfo Member Posts: 297
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    edited March 29

    Don't forget to play the music without ads, especially those that can induce anxiety (image a radio ad from an ambulance chasing attorney offering to sue). So you stream from a non-ad based subscription, play your own CD or digital file, etc.

  • mommyandme (m&m)
    mommyandme (m&m) Member Posts: 1,468
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    yes, music was number one on our happy list. We did lots of chair dancing, I have videos, yay! Guess shes where I got my chair dancing techniques (my husband and I joke). Hospice music therapy was great too. Music and dancing was always a part of her life and I continued it to the very end.

  • Phoenix1966
    Phoenix1966 Member Posts: 202
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    Ever since I saw the documentary Alive Inside back in 2014, I tried to make music a part of my grandmother’s daily routine. She forgot most everything by the end, but could sing songs from her childhood(in Polish, German and English) without a hitch.

    I know this movie has been referenced many times on this board. I believe you can watch it on YouTube for free here if anyone who hasn’t seen it is curious:

  • concerned_sister
    concerned_sister Member Posts: 425
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    Thank you for sharing that.

  • CatsWithHandsAreTrouble
    CatsWithHandsAreTrouble Member Posts: 370
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    Yes, a lot of times when my mother would start to sundown, I'd put on music by Jim Reeves for her and she'd become calm enough to stop pacing and listen to the music. She really liked to listen to it when we would "fold" towels and wait for my sister to make dinner and my dad to come home

  • GothicGremlin
    GothicGremlin Member Posts: 857
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    @Jeanne C. My only Elton John adventure —-

    Way back in the day (the '70s) in the greater Bay Area we had a series of a Day On The Green - meaning, an outside concert on the baseball field at the Oakland Coliseum. I was there to see the Doobie Brothers and The Eagles (I don't like either band, but hey, day in the sun with music), and Elton John flew in! Elevated the whole day. Elton John is still one of my favorites.

    I found this short article about it — I just wanted to make sure I hadn't dreamed the whole thing. 😄

  • Jeanne C.
    Jeanne C. Member Posts: 827
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  • Jeanne C.
    Jeanne C. Member Posts: 827
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    Today was my husband's first music therapy session as part of his hospice care. The therapist had asked in advance about his music preferences. She came prepared with a few beatles songs along with others. About halfway through Let It Be, he started singing with her. At the end of the song he said "that was beautiful." It was such a gift to see him so happy and to hear his voice. I had to step out for a cry, but it was amazing.

  • GothicGremlin
    GothicGremlin Member Posts: 857
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    I'm so happy it went well @Jeanne C. This was how it was with Peggy too. The music therapy guy came in (through hospice) and he played Fleetwood Mac songs. Peggy was so happy.

    I wish music therapy could be more available to people. It makes such a difference.

  • califsealion
    califsealion Member Posts: 12
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    Music was like magic when I cared for my mom at home. One of my big caregiving wins was figuring out showers were 75% easier when I played music. She tended to eat better with music also. Her preferences are Frank Sinatra and Mario Lanza.

  • FTDCaregiver1
    FTDCaregiver1 Member Posts: 111
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    That's wonderful, so glad you could bring some joy.

  • ValsMom
    ValsMom Member Posts: 5
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    Yes music is great.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more