Advice on Getting LO to go to Day Care?

mabelgirl · March 7

I’m trying to get my mom to go to a day care, primarily for her benefit but I can’t deny it would be a welcome break. She stays in her room, won’t go out to walk or anything. Occasionally will go out to play bingo. She just complains about being bored and how she used to do this or that. I think it would be a help to her to be with others experiencing where she is. Any advice on how to coerce her to go? What’s worked for others ?

terei · March 7

You could try saying the senior center needs volunteer helpers + she is going to spend the hours ‘helping’ the staff with various duties. You can probably get the staff to go along with your ruse + welcome her effusively for volunteering her time to the organization

bonkey · March 7

I never ina million years thought my husband would go, and go regularly, but the staff was so welcoming and kind that it was pretty easy. And it helps he goes for four hours 2 or 3 times a week so it's just enough. I say hope you find a center with well trained kind staff

mabelgirl · March 8

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/201222#Comment_201222

She said she’d rather get a job !

Anonymousjpl123 · March 8

Omg she would rather work! All kidding aside, it got harder and harder for my mom to do activities (even before her official diagnosis and move to AL), and heaven knows I tried.

Is there ANY activity she likes? Maybe they have bingo one day. Or a movie she likes. It’s really tricky but worth it to keep trying.

mabelgirl · March 9

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/201341#Comment_201341

Yeah I thought the daily bingo would cinch it but she didn’t seemed impressed. I think I’m going try again this coming Monday to just drive there for her to see first hand. Thanks for the feedback.

mabelgirl · March 18

PTL. wonders never cease! My Mom went to day center after telling me she wasn’t going when I woke her. I had to leave for a short bit and still left a note on her board that it was lunch & bingo day at the center. She was ready when I got back! Keep fingers crossed she’ll go again. It’s so nice to be able to head out without worrying if she’ll hurt herself or her calling me every 5 minutes.

terei · March 18

My advice is to quit asking her if she wants to go. TELL her ‘we are going to X today’ or tell her this right before you leave. Act like it is a ‘given’ that you are going + go. Getting cooperation from some PWD is a losing battle. Do whatever works

Minnie1225 · April 11

My mom refused to go also . She kept looking out the window and saying what do I do ? Shes so bored I took her to visit senior centers and everything was a No ! I decided to visit an adult day care . Asked if we could tour and try it out . She stayed a few hours and loved it . Asked me everyday when she was going back to see her friends. Adult Day Care and Senior Centers are very different. I wish you luck .

mabelgirl · April 11

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/205335#Comment_205335

personally I dislike the term “day care” and the one she went to is actually called “day center”, so it played well with both of us. Unfortunately my Mom went the one time , seemed to enjoy it and talked about coming back . She has never gone back because there are “old” people there with germs. I do take her to the senior center to play bingo but she needs me to be there as it for independent seniors. I keep trying though!

5sibes · April 17

I was hopeful that a dementia/memory care facility that offers a Day Friends program would be perfect for my parents, but it's integrated with residents and it seemed like the majority were in much later stages of dementia that my parents, who are 92 and 96. Both are still able to do their own ADL's, but their memory loss is such I cannot leave them alone at, say, a senior center. And they're not able to do most of the activities offered by the senior center. My Mom also has mobility issues so needs help maneuvering in the bathroom with her walker.

I sensed that being in an environment with advanced-stage dementia would be scary for them, and they would definitely say they did not belong there, and it might break trust with me, like their thinking I'm trying to shuffle them into a nursing home.

How have others managed finding activities outside of the home for what seems to be an in-between early and middle-stage dementia, when your LO still has some independence and agency in supervised situations? I really want to find them a way to socialize in a place where I don't have to be there.

M1 · April 17

Would assisted living be appropriate? Sounds like that's kind of what you're looking for.

Advice on Getting LO to go to Day Care?

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