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Shaving...

MarDel0917
MarDel0917 Member Posts: 28
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in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

I'm 38 and my BF has EO who is 44, recently he has become scared of his reflection in everything!!! Mirror, car windows, store fronts, glass doors anything that reflects. He has left his facial hair grow for 2 weeks now and is currently in the bathroom shaving.... I was gonna attempt to do it for him but he let's me get a few strokes in the takes over. Today was the 2nd attempt. We have an electric shaver but he doesn't like it. I'm not sure where I'm going with this. But I sure with his "friend" would go away. I try to be patient but it's hard sometimes. We have an phone appt with his pcp to see if he can prescribe something to help with the hallucination and his neurologist said it's not the donepazil and to go to a geriatric psychiatrist. Any who back to the topic, I gotta learn how to shave him someday and convince him to help me. Especially with the whole mirror situation.

We are all in this together. 💜

Comments

  • Jeanne C.
    Jeanne C. Member Posts: 805
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    Sorry you're both going through this. An atypical antipsychotic may help with the hallucinations. Seeing a geripsych is a great idea. They have the medication expertise. Shaving was a thing for my husband. It took me some time to recognize that the new beard was due to his inability to shave. When asked, he said he liked the beard. So I've left it and take him to the barber every other week for a trim. We treat it like a date…I take him to the barber and then out for pancakes.

  • jsps139_
    jsps139_ Member Posts: 171
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    I noticed my husband was only shaving his face but not under his chin or neck and sometimes just forgetting all together. He is very prideful, so I was afraid to mention it. One day when he was getting ready to shave, I said in a real sweet voice … I think you are missing a little area under your chin lately. Would you mind if I showed you where you are missing? Then I took the razor and shaved that area and then I said … I’ve never shaved anyone before. Could I try it? To my surprise he said … yeah … and then we did it together while laughing the whole time. I never expected that reaction from him. We just have to try different things and see if they work. One thing that I didn’t realize - men put a lot more pressure on the razor than we ladies do on our legs. I hope you DH will be agreeable to have you help with shaving. All these little things that have so much stress attached to them because we never know how they will react! Yikes!

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,715
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    I second the barber suggestion. Then he doesn’t even have to look in the mirror at all. I would call ahead of time of course but feel sure they would accommodate him…

  • LaneyG
    LaneyG Member Posts: 164
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    My husband is insisting on shaving every day and not with electric razor. He has been getting lots of nicks and misses spots all over the place. Sometimes he lets me guide him. Other times not. I don’t push it where I know nothing of shaving a man’s face. On my list..

  • JDancer
    JDancer Member Posts: 451
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments
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    Trimming my husband's beard is one of the many unpleasant hygiene issues I deal with, He fidgets and complains, hates having it done, as do I. I let him get pretty shaggy.

  • MarDel0917
    MarDel0917 Member Posts: 28
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/206694#Comment_206694

    This is amazing. Thank you so much. My condolences to you.

  • Whyzit2
    Whyzit2 Member Posts: 55
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    Member

    I hand DH his electric shaver to use while he watches tv and have found he spends more time doing it. I also coach him on missed areas. Sometimes he reminds me of the children’s story Solomon Grundy who washed his right ear on Monday and his left ear on Tuesday, etc. Not perfect but it is working for now.

  • SSHarkey
    SSHarkey Member Posts: 298
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/206720#Comment_206720

    Great idea!!! Thank you!

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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