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Inner Dialogue

Just Bill
Just Bill Member Posts: 315
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in Caring For a Spouse or Partner
I would like to share something with the group I learned in sports that I am using to cope with my wife's challenges. In sports your inner dialogue has a lot to do with your outcome. If you say internally "I hope I don't hit the ball into the water." That is exactly where the ball will go. If you say "Hit this ball to that target." You have a better chance of success. If I start the day with the internal dialogue "I wonder how she is going to drive me crazy today ? " I'm irritated at the first event. If I begin the day with "What do I need to do to make sure this beautiful person I love has a great day ?"  The day goes smoothly all day. It seems like too simple of a solution but it works. Our brains are capable of handling way more than we think they can. At least that is what I keep telling myself. Right now that is working for me.

Comments

  • billS
    billS Member Posts: 180
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
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    Excellent advice Bill. I try to take a similar approach - I try not to have expectations but just deal with whatever happens as best I can. Of course for me it is easy since my wife is in MC and I get to come home after each visit.
  • Stuck in the middle
    Stuck in the middle Member Posts: 1,167
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    Excellent advice.  I like to remember the line from Dolly Parton's "Nine to Five" that goes "They use your mind and they never give you credit.  It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it."
  • Joydean
    Joydean Member Posts: 1,500
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    I like all the ideas, and Stuck, I too like Dolly’s song. I also like a poster I have that read’s “ Accept what is, Let go of what was, Have Faith in what will be.”
  • Pam BH
    Pam BH Member Posts: 195
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    Member
    You've all hit the nail on the head. Learning to change my mindset is significantly lowering my stress level.  Sandwich, your internal response to people saying your DH looks fine is wonderful!
  • Cherjer
    Cherjer Member Posts: 227
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Likes
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    Best advise I have has all day!! Being positive is rewarding. Thank  you so much.
  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 455
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    great advice by all. Thank you.

  • ButterflyWings
    ButterflyWings Member Posts: 1,755
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    I just used Google translate to read @michflo34’s post. They said:

    “Hello! I just arrived on the site by chance and I'm fumbling around a lot! I hope I don't do too much stupidity! and I would like to exchange and discuss the disease with another person! THANK YOU everyone!”

    (From ButterflyWings) Forum Mates I’m in the middle of a double measure of stage 7 caregiving overload so if someone else can please post a new thread with request for French speaker/writer to correspond with a new member? If that has not been done already. Thanks!

    @Buggsroo @French et l’autre Forum Mates: Je suis au milieu d'une double mesure de surcharge de soins au stade 7, donc si quelqu'un d'autre peut s'il vous plaît poster un nouveau fil de discussion avec une demande pour qu'un francophone/écrivain corresponde avec un nouveau membre ? Si cela n'a pas déjà été fait. Merci!

    Welcome, Bienvenue Michflo34

  • Anna2022
    Anna2022 Member Posts: 185
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/207667#Comment_207667

    Bonjour, Michflo34! Bienvenue et ne vous inquietez de faire des erreurs. Nous sommes tous dans le meme bateau!

  • michflo34
    michflo34 Member Posts: 34
    10 Comments 5 Likes
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/207783#Comment_207783

    Merci beaucoup ! je vais avoir 77 ans le 17 mai ! mais je continue à faire des bêtises entre autres aujourd'hui j'ai des erreurs dans mon compte bancaire qu'un voisin est venue m'aider à rectifier ! j'appréhende d'être obligé de passer sous "curatelle" ! le plus trad possible ! Bonne journée !

  • michflo34
    michflo34 Member Posts: 34
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    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/207778#Comment_207778

    Bonjour! je suis francophone, je suis en France et j'ai toujours habité la France ! donc si un autre Français malade d'Alzheimer veut bien discuter avec moi; ce serait avec plaisir ! amitiés à tous ! Michel à Montpellier (France)

  • Buggsroo
    Buggsroo Member Posts: 574
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    Bonjour Anna,

    N’ayez pas peur de faire les bêtises, ici on ne juge pas. Je viens de lire votre poste et je sais que ma réplique est tardive mais je peux vous écrire si vous avez besoin d’échanger les postes sur la démence. Malheureusement, mon mari est décédé depuis cinq mois mais en tout cas je peux vous offrir les réponses. Je vous souhaite la paix et je sais que vous faites un voyage turbulent et difficile.

  • Buggsroo
    Buggsroo Member Posts: 574
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    Member

    Bonjour Miche,

    Je ne suis pas francophone mais je parle le français par cœur :), j’espère que vous avez réglé votre compte de banque et vous allez bien à ce moment. Je vous souhaite la paix.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

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