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where do you live?

l7pla1w2
l7pla1w2 Member Posts: 174
100 Care Reactions 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Likes
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in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

DW has been asking me this question most of the day "Where do you live?" I tell her, "Here." She says, "Since when?" I tell her, "Since 1981, when we bought the house together." "But I haven't seen you. I've been living alone most of the time." What am I supposed to do with that? She hasn't "seen" me because she doesn't remember. She doesn't remember sleeping together last night, having breakfast with me this morning, having lunch this afternoon.

Comments

  • Dio
    Dio Member Posts: 681
    500 Comments 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes Second Anniversary
    Member

    I'm so sorry. It's really gut-wrenching to witness our LO succumbing to this wicked disease. This may sound harsh, but…Get use to it. Worse days may be ahead. For my DH, this phase came and went over a period of three or so months, then progressed to behaviors even more troubling and horrifying. Sad to say, but when I looked back to the repetition and confusion in the early days, those were the "good" ol' days.

  • Jez975
    Jez975 Member Posts: 12
    5 Likes First Comment
    Member

    I deal with this every day. Along with “when are you going home?” It’s not easy. I have reverted to “I can’t go home because me parents are all dead”. Then she remembers and says “mine are too so you can live here with me “. It works for me

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,715
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    Member

    Agree 17, a lot of what you are describing- not retaining your past, not absorbing the news--this is par for the course and pretty benign. Yes, it's painful, but if you can find a way not to let it get under your skin you'll probably fare better. I worry that you sound very irritated at her behaviors and she can probably pick up on that....

  • wose
    wose Member Posts: 137
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    Member

    Oh Yikes!!!….So awful for you. I feel like that is right around the corner for me. The last few days were like being in a rapid fire gunfight. But I’m guessing I’m still in the good ole days like Dio said. Scary Stuff 💜Sending good vibes virtually.

  • l7pla1w2
    l7pla1w2 Member Posts: 174
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    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/208503#Comment_208503

    No worries. This has been going on for awhile, and it doesn't surprise me anymore. I respond in a relatively neutral voice. Her reaction varies. Sometimes she says, "What's the matter with my brain?" What indeed.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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