Is there life after this

@tryingtodurvive your post is not too long and your prayer is the same as many of ours by later stages. I pray my beloved (and I) do not have to ride this stinking Alz train to the bitter end of the line. He is early Stage 7 and has rebounded from very near death Easter weekend. I think he would approve of me wishing for the end and praying that I will survive his disease, relatively intact.

I feel exactly what you are feeling. I feel like my life is in a holding pattern, just waiting around for my DW to die. My wife is transitioning from stage 5 to 6 and I don't want her to have to bear the indignities of stages 6 & 7. I just want it to be over for her. I also hope I am able to have some sort of life after this is all done.

My heart aches for you. We are all going through this awful nightmare and can only hope that it will be over before it gets as bad as it eventually will. Hugs to you. Please know you are not alone. ❤️

Your prayer is the same as mine. I feel a little bit of relief with DH now in MC, but I wonder how life will go for me now that I'm more of an advocate for him, rather than a direct caregiver. I'm able to remember some of our earlier, happier times now, so that's a plus. I have to believe there is life after dementia. I wouldn't wish this disease on my worst enemy.

You read my mind. I just posted a similar question. Some days I just can't bear to think how long we have to endure this suffering. This is not life, it is just existing.

SSHarkey, I don't know if you have tried Sirrius radio (or maybe there are other satellite radio stations to access in your car) — but they have every single musical era or genre you could want, on individual stations, commercial free (pretty much). My DH refused to leave the house for a couple of years, but before that, and afterward, (thankfully now we are no longer homebound!) long drives lost in the music is one of his happy places!

He will ride for hours listening to his favorite oldies, or jazz. I would love to listen to hours of show tunes, but it is all about keeping my PWD LO calm and happy. It might be a treat for you and your DH on this 10 hour drive. Good for you, for getting away!

I think a lot of caregivers can relate to your feelings. And I suspect the disconnect between your lifestyle and that of your contemporaries is all the more glaring given your age which gives you an even greater sense of isolation.

Is there any way to bring in some respite care to give yourself a regular break from your caregiving duties? You might not be able to say yes to every invitation, but you deserve regular breaks and social interaction.

Perhaps the parent of your grands could come stay with dad overnight while you had a sleepover with the kids at their house. My mom's experience in stage 8 has not been as rosy as Beachfans. Childhood is a "perishable" state. Maybe it's because the grandchildren were a bit older or maybe it was because dementia cost mom her beach house. Her oldest granddaughter (who lived with her from ages 12-15) tries to make time to see her about once a month but my son (mom and dad moved away when he was 6, the week he was diagnosed with high functioning autism) sees her more as a household job he does to keep me happy because she was absent when he was growing up.

HB