Spouse is aware of memory loss

My husband is aware of his memory loss and often tells me he’s “losing it.” He will also recognize he has problems with comprehension. He has stated for years he feels foggy and is afraid he has what his mother had. BUT, at the same time he will say he’s glad he doesn’t have Alzheimer’s/dementia. He tells people that I’m his memory and he panics at the word dementia.

My DH is in Tam Cummings stage 5. He told me the other day that he has lost his memory. All along he has had an awareness that he is “losing it”, “his brain doesn’t work”, that his memory is going. And yet, he doesn’t fully comprehend his losses. Anosognosia is very real but fluctuates in severity. Anosognosia is not denial, it is an inability to comprehend one’s limitations, one’s disease. It varies for everyone with it. It sounds like your mother has pretty complete anosognosia. But not having anosognosia does not mean he does not have ALZ. Or in other words, you can have a sense of your losses and still have ALZ.

In the beginning, Mom would notice her memory lapses and would get quite upset about it. Not so much anymore.

my DW diagnosis was 21 months ago dementia has anosognosia real bad, at times she’ll say something like “I’m not the same”. But all in all she’s holding her own. At Nurologist yesterday , she hates that drawing of clock and asked where’s 2.55. Hasn’t gotten it right in 2 yrs. SAD!!

My dad absolutely knew his memory was impaired and it left him feeling vulnerable and later paranoid. Because of this, he ignored the advice of both his CPA and attorney around setting up a trust and naming POAs.

That said, he did have anosognosia and was oblivious to other critical cognitive skills like empathy, executive function, reasoning ability and visual processing/spatial reasoning. He also didn't appreciate how impactful his memory loss was.

HB

I believe that my DH has experienced "selective blindness" around his own issues. He knows his "short term memory" is impaired, yet thinks his abilities to do all kinds of things (driving, handling money, etc.) are intact.

Quilter, I often wonder whether Anosognosia is a blessing or a curse. It makes it much harder to get cooperation from your LO, but sometimes the fact that they are unaware of any problem makes them more at peace.

My DW has anosognosia, and for me it is a curse. She doesn't think she has a problem, and she's with-it enough that she will challenge me if I were to seek help for her, and ask "Why?" She is now at a stage where she can't be left alone, so I can't make phone calls (she would be listening) or have people come to the house without DW knowing. I would love to go MCF "shopping" , but there's no way. This forum is the only place where I can get support (huge thanks to everyone) and advice, because I can do this without arousing DW's suspicion or curiosity.

DW goes to a program three times a week. The organization labels it a "Memory Program", but I never mention that. I just tell her she's going to do stuff with Miriam and Sophia, and she likes them. Unfortunately for me, she sundowns just after lunch, and I have to pick her up around 1, not 2:30. At some point I will have to get in-home support, but I don't know how I'll manage to start that.

My DW , diagnosed with Alz is aware of her memory loss and aware of her difficulty with problem solving. She voluntarily gave up driving before the diagnoses . She is a participant in her care.

I sometimes wish she were not aware because the knowledge of what is happening to her terrifies her .

Yes, and that's one of the saddest aspects for DH in the early stage, knowing that there's a black hole in his brain and that nothing can be done about it. He used to say, "I wish there's a magic wand that will make it go away!" Now he's in memory care with the right mix of medications, so he seems normal again. But we haven't tested the waters to see how he feels about it, although I'm told by staff that they believe he knows why he's in memory care.

Do you know how to tell the difference between anosognosia and denial? Because my wife frequently denies some of her issues, for example insisting there's no reason she should always have someone with her when going out or never be home alone (because she has terrible balance and has had multiple falls). When we've tried talking together with her PT and even had the PT fill out a form clearly saying she can't safely ambulate at home alone, instead of listening she tries to rationalize why the PT put down the "wrong" assessment. And I'm not sure how much of this is being in deep denial vs anosognosia. Is this the kind of thing they can evaluate for? She is meant to have a cognitive evaluation in July.

AndreaDC, welcome to the forum. It is a great resource and great support. Up at the top of this webpage, in the purple banner is “Groups”. Click on that and then go to the group for newcomers. There is a wealth of info and links that members have posted.
As to your question, no I don’t know how to tell the difference between anosognosia and denial. Denial can be treated with therapy. Anosognosia is a permanent issue due to the brain damage and cannot be treated. It’s not just seen in dementia but also in Traumatic Brain Injury. Chances are, if she has dementia, it’s anosognosia.

You don’t say what symptoms of dementia your DW has. For the sake of discussion, I’ll assume that she has dementia. If so, you will not be able to have a rational conversation with her. Dementia affects one’s executive functioning. Trying to convince her using reasoning will likely fail. You need to get creative and come up with a fiblet to use. Don’t think of fiblets as lies. Lies are to deceive, fiblets are to relieve per one of the dementia specialists on You Tube. I tell my DH that the inhome caregiver is there for me - to do housekeeping. Is there a reason why you would want someone doing something at the house? Is there a college in the area? Perhaps you could say that the person is a PT student that needs to do practical experience to get her degree.
Keep reading and posting here on the forum. Most of what I know about dementia, I’ve learned here.

sounds just like mine

A PWD, especially one that gets lost should not be driving. How would you feel if you got a call your LO was in a fatal accident?