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Need legal advice/support

spippin
spippin Member Posts: 3
First Comment
Member
in Caring For a Spouse or Partner
I am a caregiver/friend/partner to my 84yr ex-lover who was diagnosed with ES stage dementia several years ago. Another friend of my ex who has been her property manager for maybe 40 yrs put an alert on one of my friend's bank account. Once that happened, Adult Protective Services got involved and had an emergency court hearing. My friend had a Conservator appointed, a court appointed lawyer and a GAL to investigate diminished capacity and financial abuse.

Protective Senior Services immediately froze all her banks accounts. Her lawyer has not spoken with her since the hearing (February 2024). The Conservator has never spoken with her. Protective Services has visited 3 times, but they don't believe what she says because they say she has diminished capacity. She had a POA and HCP and Will and Trust, but all her legal documents are being contested due to her diminished capacity. She does have diminished capacity and is very forgetful, but she does know what she wants.

I have tried to get her help. I have been told she cannot hire another attorney because she has a court appointed one. She also has no money available to hire anyone.

I am the only person who has been caring for her.

I have looked into Elder lawyers for help and have found none.
I can't believe this is the first time anyone has gone through this nightmare.

Any help out there????????

Comments

  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 414
    Eighth Anniversary 250 Likes 100 Care Reactions 100 Comments
    Member

    I hope someone here may have an idea on help. I’m clueless on this topic. It really sounds like quite the mess. Maybe you could consult with an elder law attorney?

  • spippin
    spippin Member Posts: 3
    First Comment
    Member

    Thanks.

  • Phoenix1966
    Phoenix1966 Member Posts: 203
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Likes
    Member

    While I have no practical advice for you, I’m so sorry you’re stuck in this situation. When my grandmother was suffering from dementia, I reached out to APS, because I saw no other way to draw attention to her condition and how that was affecting her health and living conditions. She was a level 5 hoarder at this point, boxes of stuff stacked to the ceiling, food rotting everywhere, dogs no longer allowed outside, so they were using the house as a toilet. She herself was unkempt and looked like a fairytale witch, living alone at 95. I wanted her to get help.

    APS stood in her doorway, could see and smell everything(flies hovered about) and reported back to me that there was nothing they could do because she was not a danger to herself or others. I was flabbergasted. But later, someone reached out to them and said they were worried she was financially being abused and that’s when they actually “investigated” (there was no financial abuse).

    From my personal experience, APS in my state only takes an interest if money might be involved, and then they’re like a dog with a bone. Otherwise, they don’t give a damn. I’m sorry they’ve got their jaws around your friend.

  • JeriLynn66
    JeriLynn66 Member Posts: 833
    500 Comments 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Has the GAL not been in close contact? This person is assigned to be the "coordinator" of information and representation. What inspired the property manager to initiate this action?

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 2,480
    500 Likes 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Why did the property manager put an alert on your friends bank account? Is it because the rent was late? Are they suspecting fraudulent withdrawals? Who has access to her bank account? Are you the POA and had access to her bank account? If so, I would guess that they are not discussing the case with you because you are a ‘person of interest’. I would also guess that the ‘ex-lover’ designation is not working in your favor in their eyes.

    I’m not sure what to advise you to do except contact a lawyer on your own behalf to make sure you don’t get caught up in their investigation. You may not be able to do anything here except accept that the GAL will be taking over her care whether you like it or not.

  • Jo C.
    Jo C. Member Posts: 2,939
    Legacy Membership 2500 Comments 250 Likes 100 Care Reactions
    Member

    For those wondering: GAL: Guardian ad litem . . . .

  • spippin
    spippin Member Posts: 3
    First Comment
    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/212947#Comment_212947

    The GAL has been investigating since Day 1 but after 90 days still says he is not finished. He has never interviewed me. As for the PM, jealousy, control — who knows

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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