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Contented Dementia Book

agree
agree Member Posts: 1 Member
in Caring For a Spouse or Partner
My husband was just diagnosed and I am reading about SPECAL care. This has helped tremendously. The book uses the metaphor of “old photographs”….. things in long term memory. When considering this, why would my spouse do odd things like put the tuna can in the freezer? Wouldn’t that be in your long term memory? Please don’t answer if you have not read this book. Thanks!!!
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  • midge333
    midge333 Member Posts: 469
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    Welcome to the site! I am sorry to hear about your husband. What is the title and author of the book?

  • Lgb35
    Lgb35 Member Posts: 117
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    the name of the book is “contented dementia”

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,788
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    Welcome to the forum agree. I have not read the book, I'm glad you have found it helpful. Reading about the book online, it's not new, and reviews i find are pretty mixed. As you are finding out, our loved ones with dementia do all sorts of irrational things that defy explanation. I don't think it's possible to tie everything to long-term memory. Your DH probably no longer recognizes the can of tuna as a can of tuna, and therefore can't begin to remember what to do with it. He may also no longer recognize the frezzer as the freezer. This inability to recognize objects is called agnosia and is a pretty common phenomenon.

  • Iris L.
    Iris L. Member Posts: 4,649
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    Welcome agree. There is much for online reading material to educate yourself about Alzheimer's Disease. What you describe about the tuna fish is not unusual. Also, learn about anosognosia, it's very important.

    Iris

  • janeedee
    janeedee Member Posts: 10
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/69625/contented-dementia-book

    that was the first book I read after DH diagnosis and I found it very helpful as well

  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 563
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    edited June 2024

    Welcome. I have not read the book, like some others, but I still wanted to welcome you to the forum and make a small comment. I have read almost anything I could get my hands on and have been educated the most by this group here. I am so thankful for those who have been on this journey longer than I have, who continue to offer advice and answers to our many questions.

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 5,031
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    @agree said: Please don’t answer if you have not read this book. Thanks!!!

    Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here, but pleased you found this place.

    Never have I ever seen a post made where people were disinvited from commenting. Seems odd and off-putting. The book is based on a British philosophy of dementia care which can differ from those on this side of the pond.

    HB

  • Daughter of a Marine
    Daughter of a Marine Member Posts: 62
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    Welcome, Agree - I'm so sorry you have a need to be here but you will find this site a rich source of information and support. My DH was diagnosed 12 yrs ago but didn't really decline until about 3 yrs ago. He is now stage 6/7 and will likely need placement within the next few months. I can tell you that putting items in strange places is a hallmark of someone with dementia - Open cans of pop in the freezer (that was fun to clean up!), apple cores in his pocket, dirty dishes in the cabinet, etc. The brain cells responsible for logic and reasoning are gone so I've had to adjust my expectations and not react for instance when he's standing out in the pouring rain and refuses to come inside. It's a long hard road and I am praying for every care giver on this forum. God bless us all!

  • Dio
    Dio Member Posts: 782
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    Agree, sorry you have to be here. I haven't read the book. But just one book isn't enough. There are so many diseases or conditions that cause dementia, not just Alzheimer's Disease. There's still so much to learn how each disease manifests in the brain and what stage it's in. I recommend learning from the people who have gone through this with their LOs from hell and back, or maybe still in hell, as the diseases are relentless. You wrote that your husband was just diagnosed but didn't elaborate which type of dementia. It helps to know which one(s). I can tell you that many tips and suggestions did not work for my DH. If they worked, they were very short-lived. The only thing that finally worked was finding the right combination of medications in the right dosages. Since everyone is different, there's no turn-key solution when it comes to the right "cocktail." It's trial and error. Good luck and hope you get the help you need along this wretched journey.

  • Lkrielow99
    Lkrielow99 Member Posts: 67
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    Hello and I am sorry you need to be here. I joined a few months ago. There are some amazing people in this group. Some have so much experience and insight, so I’m happy you landed here too.
    thanks for the book referral. Since my DH diagnosis I have read everything I can get my hands on and listening to YouTube Teepa Snow, careblazers, and a few others. So of course I downloaded and have been reading the book. I think you may find other resources that will help also.
    Why put a can of Tuna in the freezer?, who knows. Mine put his dirty clothes in the refrigerator. “Agnosia means a total or partial loss of the ability to recognize familiar objects or persons through sensory stimuli as the result of organic brain damage due to the dementia. Any of the senses can be affected - an inability to identify something by sight would be termed visual agnosia. An inability to identify something by touch is called tactile agnosia. The loss of the ability to interpret perceptions combines with the loss of language to make communication and understanding more and more difficult.” I’m sure there are other scientific explanations, but the science isn’t my concern, It’s how I respond that helps my LO remain calm. Understanding that it happens keeps me from falling into the twilight zone.

    My DH experiences Agnosia at times but always has anosognosia, he does not recognize his cognitive impairment.
    Come back often, as you are not alone. Much love to you.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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