Obsessed with his facial hair

annie51 · June 22

Several months ago, my DH began obsessing about his facial hair. He was asking me to either help or find someone to help to get the hair off his face. Every day, sometimes multiple times a day, he rubs his face and says "I've been asking for help but nobody, including you, helps me." He can still shave himself, although I need to prompt him on the steps, so I say let's go get it done now. Sometimes he's fine with this, but sometimes he is still frustrated. I try to tell him this is something that has to be done most every day, but of course, it's to deaf ears. He says he never had to do that before. I have a few different electric shavers and trimmers so sometimes I use those on him instead of him shaving himself. I don't know if he's shaving as good as he used to, but it does seem like the hair is growing faster than before. I've tried getting him to shave on a regular schedule, but until he expresses the frustration, he won't do it - says he doesn't need it. So I wait for the "I've been asking for help but nobody, including you, helps me" and he'll do it.

If there's anyone with advice on getting a closer shave that will last longer or some other creative way to deal with it, I'd love to hear it! I know this sounds like a small thing, but he gets so frustrated at me each time.

terei · June 22

IMO this is just some sort of anxiety surfacing + doesnt really have much to do with his beard at all. It might be any sort of fixation that PWD develop. If it wasn’t his beard, it would likely be something else. Honestly, I would try to distract him instead of trying to ‘help’ him, which is just feeding into his fixation. My mother complained for months about a ‘sharp tooth’. We went to the dentist over and over before I realized it was a product of her mind. I asked Dr for a med that would work for anxiety + the ‘sharp tooth’ disappeared.

As an aside, the dentist, at one point, said he was going to tell her that if she felt a sharpness, she could take a nail file + lightly buff the area…I about flipped out….I told him if she got fixated on such a thing, she would be frantic to find nail files + file her teeth down to nubbins. I cant even imagine.

annie51 · June 22

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/213543#Comment_213543

I never thought about that but you’re probably right about it being something other than his beard. It does definitely help when I can distract him. Thanks for the insight.

jfkoc · June 22

How about having several electric shavers available for his use…bathroom, TV room etc.

An electric razor will not do the job unless it it used everyday. No, it does not matter what brand. He may be right. There is stubble that needs to be shaved.

harshedbuzz · June 23

This sounds anxiety driven to my ear.

I would talk to his doctor about trying something to dial that back. Often anxiety spilling over as obsessive behavior responds well to Zoloft or one of the other SSRIs.

It's also possible he's losing his ability to shave independently and needs more assistance than a verbal prompt from you. A traditional razor is going to give a closer shave. Gillette Treo is designed to be used by caregivers .

https://www.facebook.com/gillette/videos/119219629431973/

Another option might be a trip to the barber if he's agreeable to outings.
HB

SDianeL · June 23

My husband was in the bathroom shaving and I checked on him. He was shaving his arms! I supervised his showering and shaving after that. He was Stage 4 at that time and started having hallucinations. To get my husband to shower I told him he needed to shower 2x per week, Wed & Sun. When those days came, I would prepare his shower and get everything ready for him. I would tell him it was shower day and his shower was ready. It worked! Read the book “The 36 Hour Day” recommended by a nurse. It really helped me after my husbands diagnosis.

Obsessed with his facial hair

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