Resistant to redirection or distraction

dancsfo · July 1

Does anyone have experience with redirection or distracting not working? Specifically, PWD wants to wash takeout containers before eating. It's not just rinsing, but washing with soap, even paper containers. These attempts don't work:

It's not necessary to wash them
I'll do it myself, later
You can do it later
Please go set the table for me?

It also happens with regular pots and pans, and it delays a meal so we can't eat a warm meal.

A typical suggestion for failed redirection is to change the subject or environment, such as going for a walk, but that won't work when the dinner is getting cold.

I think the only thing that can work is to hide the containers or pots when the PWD is not looking, and has forgotten they were there. Any suggestions?

M1 · July 1

This is a tough one! Is your PWD typically in the kitchen when you're putting food out? If so I'm wondering if there's a way to change that pattern, so that she never sees the containers? So difficult to be sneaky, but maybe if there were a TV program or even something on YouTube that she could watch while you get the meal plated? Maybe even empty out a cabinet where you could put the pots/pans/containers until after the meal? Could you send her to wash her hands or put the trash out? I'm just trying to think off the cuff here....

dancsfo · July 1

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/214408#Comment_214408

@M1 These are all good ideas. PWD likes to visit kitchen when putting food out.

I tried TV but PWD comes to visit kitchen if the show is not interesting.

I'm trying to find a place to hide them, even just bringing in a garbage bag where I can stash them as soon as I can. Like you wrote, I want to find a way so that the containers are never seen. It's the "out of sight, out of mind" way of thinking, right?

Or maybe it's not as pretty on the table, but rather than putting it on a plate, one can just put the takeout containers on the dinner table. It's just not nice to look at, but maybe that's what it takes.

The kitchen doesn't have a door, and have thought of getting one installed, and can lock it, but I think that will cause some anger.

harshedbuzz · July 1

It sounds like you need to stash them.

Would he look in a cabinet or oven? What would happen if you let him play at this and enjoyed your meal hot even if he didn't join you?

dancsfo · July 2

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/214494#Comment_214494

Thanks for the idea. PWD probably won't look in cabinet or oven, but may search in the waste basket.

I've now tried to let PWD spend time cleaning the containers, and I reheat the food when ready (in microwave or oven, in a separate dish or container). PWD also likes to peel paper labels off of containers, and that takes a while and eventually may give up on it but it also delays eating. I asked why (which usually may not be a good idea) and was told "I enjoy it". So if that's true, I'd be okay with it.

Eating meals together is a custom and brings enjoyment, so currently the preference is not to eat a hot meal separately.

I've removed range knobs, so I don't rewarm food atop a gas stove. Otherwise, it is difficult to explain why a stove is "broken" (a fib) and then having it work again and "break" again.

One of the gas burners is actually damaged and unrepairable, so it was a convenient excuse for removing all the stove-top burner knobs. A service person came & explained it, although PWD doesn't remember it.

I'm getting a new range for safety (potential gas leak) reasons. I'll have to figure out a way to explain later why a new range is "broken" and has all knobs removed.

Take out food is not the a preference all the time, but the problems and dangers of using a gas range has led me to rely on take out more.

I'm also using a hot plate occasionally, so I guess I can rewarm food on it too, if I can do so safely for PWD.

Resistant to redirection or distraction

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