an awful lot of tears here

Hi I am new here as well. Sorry you are dealing with this with both parents! I have been told they aren’t aware due to Anosognosia. It’s a struggle and you are doing it alone. It’s a lot on one person. And they also call it the long goodbye. Of course you are not ok. You are grieving and having to make long term decisions and miss your parents no how could anyone expect you to be the same person. Just no you are doing th right things getting care for both of them and having them close to you.
My father suffers from dementia as well. I will be bringing him to live with me this week and he thinks it’s for a visit. I too am doing this with out other family members help living in another state. It takes a toll. Just know we are all here for you. Allow yourself to grieve and cry it is ok. You need to be able to do that. Blessing to you.

Hi Jen ht - a lot of us are doing the best we can with what we've got. And yes, I think safe to say all of us are grieving the LO we 'no longer have' because of 'this'.

Dad is safe - that is a load off your mind. You can still be his advocate and watch out for him, but good there are other hands-on folks with him, now.

All of 'this' is hard to deal with. Much support and commiseration here.

You are very welcome! I felt very misunderstood and kinda alone in this until I found this forum. It so comforting to talk with others who can actually understand what you are going thru.
I find everyone outside of know about or having been thru it has a lot of ideas and opinions but no one would help. If they did help it wasn’t much at all.
Im happy I was able to bring you some reassurance and comfort.

Thank you so much for the support, blessings and prayers.

Jen ht, this is real grief, though those who haven't lived it won't necessarily see it that way. But I think if you were grieving a parent who had died, you still might find that a lot of friends "don't have the bandwidth" for all of the processing you need to do. Even more so the losses of dementia, the long goodbye.

Even after traveling this road for several years, the grief still takes me by surprise at times. I get used to my mom’s current state, then I come across a picture of her from years past and I think "that's my mom!" And I miss the person she used to be, who is mostly gone now. You have come to the right place. We get it.

just adding to what others have said - you are definitely not alone! Buckets of tears are appropriate. But the truth is with your dad, the hard part is over. You can vent here as much as you need. And you will find great advice from others who have been down this road.

Hi jen ht!

This post really resonates with me, as it seems to with so many on this forum. I am so sorry that you are dealing with this situation, especially both parents at the same time. There is no way you could be ok, and not be overwhelmed and emotional. It is so much for anyone to deal with, especially when the load is all on your shoulders alone!

I lost my mother to Lewy Body Dementia last August and was the main person getting her to appointments to figure out what was wrong and then making decisions on her care. Then I immediately stepped into caregiving for my father, who I knew was having memory issues as well as other issues managing life on his own (didn't even pay bills once mom was too sick to manage). I got him to a neurologist in May, after his PCP finally helped convince him to go. He was diagnosed with Alzheimers, and I got a rude awakening that his cognitive impairment was far more serious that I even knew. At that appointment I was told that he is no longer allowed to drive and needs 24/7 supervision. So I am now in the process of trying to get him into an assisted living community (as he is having similar issues as your father, with not eating and being taken advantage of financially), and I know it is going to be a major fight. I made the rookie mistake of trying to reason with him and convince him to go, and you can imagine how that went. And like you, it is all on me to make the decisions and make things happen. I have serious anxiety when I think about the move, as I would like to make it happen this weekend, for his safety and to cut off the manipulators taking advantage of him. Like you, I am really struggling with it all. I am preoccupied all of the time with the situation and go from being sad, to angry, to resentful. I don't feel that I even got a chance to grieve the loss of my mother before this all started with dad.

All of that was to say that you are definitely not alone, and I appreciate you and all of the others on this forum who share your experiences. This has been the one place/community that has helped me to feel not so alone in dealing with this very cruel disease that robs us of our loved ones. I hope you are able to find some peace, but you are certainly within your rights to not feel ok and cry it out!! This community will be here for you!