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My father with dementia lost his wallet

JM27
JM27 Member Posts: 122
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edited July 11 in Caring for a Parent

Hello everyone, my father with dementia has lost/misplaced his wallet. The cards have not been used since Saturday which was when he made a transaction. I got here today and torn the house apart can’t find the wallet. The bad thing is both his IDs were in there and we are scheduled to fly out Saturday. I’m now having to see about making arrangements to drive us back to California.

he is now in a looping about this wallet and I don’t know how to get him off of stuck.

I don’t know if I’m tempting fate with this move. But the whole process over the last few years even coming to check on his has been hurdle after hurtle.

Any suggestions ideas or thoughts?

Comments

  • jen ht
    jen ht Member Posts: 82
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    My Dad also misplaced his prior to our flight home. There are special considerations for elders. I found out from a friend and then looked up on TSA to find the possible backups for him. I hope this might apply to you too. It included things like medicine perscriptions with his name, bank statements, etc. I can't remember what exactly I searched to find it, but there are alternatives for cases like this. I'll see if I can find the link I used.

  • jen ht
    jen ht Member Posts: 82
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    This isn't the list I was hoping to re-locate, but this might help you.

    Forgot Your ID?

    In the event you arrive at the airport without valid identification, because it is lost or at home, you may still be allowed to fly. The TSA officer may ask you to complete an identity verification process which includes collecting information such as your name, current address, and other personal information to confirm your identity. If your identity is confirmed, you will be allowed to enter the screening checkpoint. You will be subject to additional screening, to include a patdown and screening of carry-on property.

    You will not be allowed to enter the security checkpoint if your identity cannot be confirmed, you choose to not provide proper identification or you decline to cooperate with the identity verification process.

    TSA recommends that you arrive at least two hours in advance of your flight time.

    https://www.tsa.gov/travel/security-screening/identification

  • JM27
    JM27 Member Posts: 122
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    ok yes that would be great! He has prescriptions and I can get bank statements no problem. Just no photo id. I also have his birth certificate with me.

  • JM27
    JM27 Member Posts: 122
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    Hi Jen ht,


    thank you I will call TSA in the morning I tried now but the automated system keeps looping me back to pick a recorded prompt. Thank you for the information.

  • JM27
    JM27 Member Posts: 122
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    Hi Jen ht,


    I was able to speak with TSA and you are correct prescriptions, bank statements. Luckily I do have his birth certificate and a copy of his photo IDs which are all helpful. I will also be getting a letter from his Dr tomorrow.

    Thank you so so much for the information!!! You do not know how much this has helped me!!!❤️

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,788
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    If there's any upside to this, it might be that he no longer has a functioning credit card or driver's license. Hard way to accomplish those things but....silver lining perhaps. If you need access to the credit card for his expenses, just have the new one sent to you. He never needs to know.

  • JM27
    JM27 Member Posts: 122
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    M1! I love the positivity you have ! You are right about that! Definitely needed to hear the silver lining to it all! I’m so caught up in this day and searching the house for the wallet ect. So very thankful for all of you and this forum! ❤️

  • SusanB-dil
    SusanB-dil Member Posts: 1,149
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    Perhaps if you have time at all, some DMV's can get you at least a temporary ID same-day. Since you have the copy, though, that should be ok.

    MIL has a wallet - it has her long-expired license in it and just a few dollars. She's happy with that. You could put in one of those major-name gift-cards after it has been used as well.

    The real ID and a real bank-card we use for her expenses is in DH possession.

  • JM27
    JM27 Member Posts: 122
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    Hi Susan,

    Yes I plan on reordering him another ID and putting cards in there for him like a gift card or something to that effect.

    He just keeps going back and forth about he doesn’t understand how he lost his wallet and then starts in a looping. I have tried not to bring up in conversation and try to redirect when it is coming up. So I hope this works till I can get the fake wallet together.

    Thank you for the response and support.

    ❤️

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 2,482
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    I assume you’ve gone to the place where he made the transaction? It’s possible he left the wallet there.

    But yes. An opportunity to cancel the credit card.

  • JM27
    JM27 Member Posts: 122
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    Ho quilting brings calm,

    I have gone back to the last place and nothing. I’ve searched every drawer, pocket, bag, under on top and below in between even the vents to the ac and nothing.

    The good thing is TSA will look at all documentation I have to see if they can verify him and get us on our flight. So thankful for that.

    I am going to go to DMV to see if I can get a new ID ordered as I will need that because he has no other picture ID and I am moving him to California.

    I was going to see if having POA and his birth certificate would allow me to go in without him to reorder a lost one, but of course can’t get anyone on the line.

  • JM27
    JM27 Member Posts: 122
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    I would like to Thank you all for your suggestions, comments and support! I was able to get all his cards shut off, order a replacement Id and get what I believe we need to fly back to California Saturday! I have a few more things to check off my list but am feeling a bit more calm.

    Now if only I could get my dear father to stop on the looping and questioning of his darn wallet. But for him I’m sure it is scary and frustrating.

    Thank you all again! ❤️

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more