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Dental care

LaneyG
LaneyG Member Posts: 164
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DH has always been meticulous about self care and would never consider missing a shower. Same thing about dental care. I find that ever so gradually this is changing. Once in awhile he wants to skip a shower. It happens rarely so I haven’t yet made a big deal of it. I’m more concerned about dental care as he does have some gum disease. I have to remind him to brush which he doesn’t appreciate. Then he brushes his teeth for all of ten seconds and maybe with some toothpaste. He likes it even less when I try to advise him how to brush. Any successful strategies for dealing with this?

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  • Crkddy
    Crkddy Member Posts: 94
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    I struggle with this too with DW. I've essentially given up trying to get her teeth brushed. I learned a trick during her recent hospitalization - a long cotton sway dipped in mouthwash. She accepts that much better than the toothbrush, but it's still a challenge.

  • ​fesk
    ​fesk Member Posts: 479
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    Would an electric toothbrush work? It would probably do a better job and they usually have a timer setting so he could brush until it turns off.

  • Denise1847
    Denise1847 Member Posts: 863
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    Hi LaneyG,

    We are at that stage with the showering and tooth brushing. I pick my battles with all of it. I have let go of how meticulous he was and I now go with the flow, balancing him being upset and the importance of the hygiene. He will wear the same clothes every day if I don't intervene.

  • JDancer
    JDancer Member Posts: 473
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    I was thinking the same thing, And introducing the new toothbrush would give you an excuse to monitor his brushing.

  • annie51
    annie51 Member Posts: 176
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    Sadly this is so common and something I’ve battled with for a while now with my DH. At first I really felt like a nag and he fought me on it for quite some time. I noticed though that over time, the battles change. Some go away and new ones appear. I finally have him in a routine where he will brush before bed (most days) side by side with me - I just say let’s brush our teeth now and he comes in with me. I consider this a victory! But he will only brush for a short time and then stops. Sometimes he will then use the brush to clean around the sink and the faucet. So then I have to sneak and put it in mouthwash for a bit to hopefully sterilize it. We have used electric toothbrushes for many years so I didn’t change that. His hygienist did say she was seeing more plaque so now I take him every 3 months for cleaning instead of 6. Luckily he loves his hygienist so he likes going.

  • FTDCaregiver1
    FTDCaregiver1 Member Posts: 111
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    Hi LaneyG - Not sure if my advice would be of any value as my situation was a bit different than yours, early on my DW's cognitive decline was rapid, she stopped brushing, queuing did work with her, so when I brushed my teeth, she copied me, I used key words such as "brush…brush" as I brushed too, worked as she copied me. Early on, I talked to her dentist to prep her visits, so they were aware of her condition, she was a shadower, so I sat there next to her through her teeth cleanings and when she fidgeted and got a bit loud I was able to get her through it. As of today, she can no longer visit the dentist and I brush her teeth now, she mostly sucks on the toothbrush as I move it around her mouth, she still fidgets but we get it done. Your situation is much different so some of my tips may be of help as the disease progresses. Like others have said, pick your battles, avoid conflict, perhaps introduce queuing without letting him know your intent? Try getting him to brush longer when you brush at the same time, try more frequent brushings whith him during the day as well. Explaining/talking really doesn't work, be subtle, repetitive and don't be too discouraged if it doesn't work initially. Hope it works out for you whatever course you take.

  • LaneyG
    LaneyG Member Posts: 164
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    Thank you all. We do use electric toothbrushes and the regular ones. He reaches for whatever, which is fine. I may well have to bring him to the dentist for more frequent cleanings for as long as he lets me. He will shadow me. I’ll also try to get him go as long as I do but am not sure that will take.

  • Pat6177
    Pat6177 Member Posts: 451
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    Our hygienist suggested these “soft picks” that are basically plastic toothpicks with barbs along them to help clean in between your teeth.

    GUM-6505R Soft-Picks Advanced Dental Picks, 90 Count

    If I was more tech savvy, I would post the link to these on Amazon. My DH will use these after meals and they must be doing some good cuz the hygienist says his teeth look ok. (He now tips the hygienist $5 at each cleaning - the hygienist and I get a good chuckle about this.)
    I know this isn’t quite what your question was but it might be a helpful addition if he’s willing to use it.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more