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Behavior

Sheilab01
Sheilab01 Member Posts: 20
10 Comments
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I am so confused on how my dad can appear so “with it” and remember certain things and then be totally off in the next sentence?! Seriously, I have beaten myself up many a time for placing him in memory care but can now see VERY clearly he needs to be there. But I leave scratching my head sometimes!

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  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,788
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    Have you heard about showtiming? This is the phenomenon of people with dementia outperforming their usual abilities, many times in public situations or with people they don't know. But it usually cannot be sustained for long. It is particularly common in those with a lot of "cognitive reserve." My partner falls in this category and can laugh and joke with the aides and nurses at her facility, she can be charming when she wants to be. But although she can still maintain a social facade, there's nothing there behind it. she'll laugh and joke with someone and then when they leave, ask me "who was that?"

  • Sheilab01
    Sheilab01 Member Posts: 20
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    I have not!

  • psg712
    psg712 Member Posts: 384
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    My mom, whose communication skills are quite poor now, will occasionally come up with a weirdly insightful comment. It's a flash in the pan and then gone. She doesn't remember her words five minutes after she speaks them. But those who are having trouble accepting the reality of her dementia will seize on these comments and say something like "see! She's still in there!" As though her brain is not failing, she's just playing possum. Sigh.

  • Sheilab01
    Sheilab01 Member Posts: 20
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    Member

    oh the well meaning “help” I know it well

  • terei
    terei Member Posts: 580
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    One thing to remember is that you have to judge your LO’s status on his worst day…not his best. You can be fooled over and over that ‘he’s really not that bad’ and then the next behavior is off the charts strange and/or dangerous

  • Victoriaredux
    Victoriaredux Member Posts: 93
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    Behind their familiar voice and what remains of their old habits and preferences is a brain with misfiring synapses - I liked this article as a description of the process.

    https://www.livescience.com/how-the-brain-stores-memories

    Kind of reminds me of an old temperamental car we had, some days it worked flawless , other days the windshield wipers popped on when we made a left turn.

  • Sheilab01
    Sheilab01 Member Posts: 20
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    Member

    I appreciate this article. I guess I shouldn’t let this bother me, it’s more baffling actually. Part of the grieving process I guess. Thank you for sharing. Be well

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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