LO keeps asking how long he will be visiting

JM27 · July 13

Hi everyone,

Traveling with my LO and he has asked several times how long he will be visiting. I said about a week.

He will actually be staying permanently.

I am trying to come up with a go around but need some help. Anyone?

H1235 · July 14

I generally try to keep things vague when I’m backed into a difficult situation with my mom. I don’t know, let’s see how things go, oh I haven’t really thought about it, It depends on ——, oh for a while probably, it will depend on ——. As far as why he is not going back to his house, many suggest some kind of home repair that needs to be done and just never gets completed. Broken water pipe, broken water heater, infestation of some kind. Whatever you think will put him at ease/ that he will buy into.

JM27 · July 14

Hi Chug,

Thank you for the suggestions. Him buying into something is kinda hard right now because it mostly sends in into looping. I’m hoping after he starts the Lexipro that will help.

thank you for the response

Corrina · July 15

> @Chug said:
> I generally try to keep things vague when I’m backed into a difficult situation with my mom. I don’t know, let’s see how things go, oh I haven’t really thought about it, It depends on ——, oh for a while probably, it will depend on ——. As far as why he is not going back to his house, many suggest some kind of home repair that needs to be done and just never gets completed. Broken water pipe, broken water heater, infestation of some kind. Whatever you think will put him at ease/ that he will buy into.

> @JM27 said:
> Hi Chug,
> Thank you for the suggestions. Him buying into something is kinda hard right now because it mostly sends in into looping. I’m hoping after he starts the Lexipro that will help.
>
> thank you for the response

I agree with keeping things vague. My mother used to ask all the time when she was going home. I would tell her I wasn't quite sure and then immediately change the subject. If I gave her a specific time, she'd ask more questions and it was harder to get out of the conversation. I found changing the subject worked best.

JM27 · July 20

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/215911#Comment_215911

So my LO does ask everyday when he will be going home. We at first were saying in about a week but now he’s asking what day it is so he can have a time frame of when he’s going back.

Even though I brought him here for his own safety and well being, Guilt is setting in that I took him from everything that is comforting to him.

I also think in his own home he feels more independent because he can get into things and fiddle or in his mind he has stuff to do.

Where here he keeps saying he is on vacation.

My family and I are trying to come up with the next work around for the when will I be going home questioning.

We can’t say there are repairs needed at home because that will throw him into a frenzy.

M1 · July 20

JM, even though he asks what day of the week it is, he may not have much of a sense of time. My partner certainly doesn't and hasn't for a long time. I offer that as reassurance. I know this is hard though. But eventually he will forget about his former home. My partner was very emotionally attached to our farm which she bought as a retirement property in 1998 and gradually turned into a beautiful sanctuary. But she has completely forgotten it. I don't know what you do in the meantime though. Is there a day program available near you?

JM27 · July 20

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/216418#Comment_216418

Hi M1,

I am looking into a day program. His sleep patterns are always off though. So I don’t know how we would schedule it. He was sleeping till around noon and now has been waking at 6am. He has only been here a week so I was trying to give it a week to see if there is a pattern of sleep to start trying to plan things to do. But with the dementia the sleep seems all over. We go to bed around 10pm here and I do allow him to stay up because I want him to feel independent like at home but shortly after we go to bed he turns in for the night.

M1 · July 20

when you get him established with a physician, they may be able to give him medication to regulate his sleep cycle. My partner had very fragmented sleep beginning in early stage 5, and the addition of low-dose Seroquel at bedtime solved this for her completely.

JM27 · July 20

Hi M1,

I will definitely ask about it. Thank you

LO keeps asking how long he will be visiting

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