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    Long Distance daughter but in town son

    lindalucci2
    lindalucci2 Member Posts: 2
    First Comment
    Member
    in Caring Long Distance

    Hello, I am writing because I live over a thousand miles away from my mom who was recently diagnosed with dementia. I have been there twice in 6 months to get her settled in a facility, visit, etc. My brother lives about 2 miles away from her but does not go to see her very much. And every time I call her, she’s very upset that he hasn’t come to visit, but I don’t know what to say to her. I feel very badly about this but I will not bash my brother to her (even though I may want to).
    How can I handle this? What can I say to her to make her not be so upset?


    Thank you so much for your help, this is so hard.

    Comments

    • terei
      terei Member Posts: 660
      Seventh Anniversary 250 Likes 500 Comments 100 Insightfuls Reactions
      Member

      You cant make her feel better about it. Distracting her will be more productive. I would also encourage your brother to try to visit more often. My brother was not in great financial condition + I asked him to take mom out to lunch once a week + I would pay for it, which I did.I sent him a couple hundred dollars a month to cover gas + lunches. He was very faithful in doing this + it did not strain his already tenuous finances.

      I also hired a companion that visited her 2-3 times a month. She took mom to lunch, thrift shops, on walks, etc + mom got very attached to her. I was far away most of the year

    • lindalucci2
      lindalucci2 Member Posts: 2
      First Comment
      Member

      thank you so much for your response, I sometimes feel so alone in this. Your tips are perfect, I will look into a companion for her and try to speak with my brother to maybe come up with a plan.

      Thank you again!

      Linda

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    Commonly Used Abbreviations


    DH = Dear Husband
    DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
    LO = Loved One
    ES = Early Stage
    EO = Early Onset
    FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
    VD = Vascular Dementia
    MC = Memory Care
    AL = Assisted Living
    POA = Power of Attorney
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