DH seems fine with everyone but me

Yep! Sometimes I worry that people think I’m making this all up. Jeanne I get the same comments from people. I like your perspective on it.

"Yes" to all of this - the same questions! I know it's exhausting! I had to pull up our bank acct online to prove to him his SS check was direct deposited, then face the same questions minutes later. Every day!!!!! He finally got past the constant questioning. He does still occasionally ask if I live with him (we've also been married 31 years). The good side of that question is that he has proposed to me several times over the past couple of years, so I know he still loves me!

We have both been married previously and have a blended family of several kids/grandkids. I try to keep (most) of my step-kids updated on his status but I worry they may think I am being overly dramatic. When he does see them he has been able to "showtime" as you have described. I think they are starting to see the "real" DH lately because he is now losing his communication skills and is mostly difficult to understand. They have also commented on how quiet he is during visits, which is a huge change for him. The ability to act normal around others has finally faded for my DH.

This is useful to hear. My husband has the "3 i's" -- impatience, irritability, & impulsiveness. The anger manifests when I try to re-direct him from a poor choice. He, too, puts on a good show with our adult daughter but has no social restraints with unknown parties. I fear someone will harm him for his socially unacceptable behavior! He has no guard rails. He is 73 & been diagnosed for 1 1/2 years. It is still new for us although he has probably had this for 3+ years. We have tiles in his wallet as he is prone to storm out of the apartment (& if he remembers to take it with him). He does not have car keys. But, he does not know where he is most of the time. Our daughter & I are trying to determine the triggers -- but nothing has been reliably identified.

I’m sorry you are experiencing this but am thankful to hear someone else is experiencing this. My DH does the same. With other family or friends he seems perfectly normal but with me he constantly makes the same comments, asks the same questions, cannot find anything or make a decision, shadows me and more. When asked how he is doing I’ve started saying he is fine. I think one of the things that bothers me the most is that he doesn’t put up anything so when he can’t find something, he blames me. It’s hard not to be defensive.

Thank all of you for your answers. My Dh does the same thing,show timing

I feel the same way. He is at his best around other people. They never see the anxiety or short aggressive behavior, verbal,.

When my DH and I re-did our will 4 years after his diagnosis (at least 8 years into symptoms) the lawyer told me that I was jumping the gun trying to get Power of Attorney, even though I had a letter from his doctor backing me up. The audacity. I carry business cards with me (printed on a home printer) that say 'The person I am with has dementia. Please be patient and kind. His name is _______.' It's very helpful in restaurants or other places where he is interacting with people he doesn't know.

Here is what is confusing. My DH is doing things that would embarass me now, if someone else saw, so we very rarely go out or invite guests to eat with us. He spits out food that is too tough, blows his nose in his napkin, eats with knife, or fingers, spills food when he eats, unscrews the salt shaker, tried to eat out of the serving dish or my plate, throws pits and cores on the counters or out the window. If they know enough to behave when there is someone to showtime for, then when they relax into inappropriate behavior, do they know they are misbehaving? I do not criticize, or in any way discuss these aberrations from what used to be impeccable table manners. I just smile and clean it up, and try to provide food that is easy to eat. Maybe I'll try inviting people, and see if his manners improve….

Thank you for that term- "showtiming". I'm an "adult child" of a mother with dementia- she showtimes with everyone other than my dad and me (we're her caregivers). She does it with my brother who lives out of the area, and as frustrating as that is, he luckily sees through it and knows to get credible info from me.
One thing that's incredibly difficult is that she always does it with doctors and other medical professionals, and sometimes they can't see through it and/or they have a hard time taking my dad's or my word for it when we describe what's really happening. She's done this for her entire life to "keep up appearances", but now it has health ramifications if she's doing it with some of her specialists who aren't as familiar with dementia. Since she still has mental capacity, we're in a weird middle-zone because we can't override her choices, but now she so often lacks the capacity to make good ones. The need for honest info getting to all of her doctors is only going to grow as she ages and as her dementia progresses. Anyone have experience with this?