Have any questions about how to use the community? Check out the Help Discussion.

I hate seeing my Mom like this..

Istoppedescaping
Istoppedescaping Member Posts: 82
Seventh Anniversary 25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Likes
Member

When I first came to the nursing home I saw a lot of residents completely out of it, just breathing with their mouths open and on oxygen. That was 7 years ago. Today I saw my Mom and she is one of those residents on oxygen with her mouth open and completely out of it. She didn't even want to wake up, just sleep. If anyone reads this and you have a LO in the early stages of Alzheimer's, spend as much time as you can with them. This is unfortunately the final outcome for anyone with Alzheimer's. Again all I can do is pray that she is comfortable, the staff do all they can for her. God bless.

Comments

  • jen ht
    jen ht Member Posts: 82
    25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Likes
    Member

    I am sorry about your tough visit.

    Thanks for writing this. This is partly why I have a hard time following the advice to "stay away" from my dad. Heartbreaking.

    Joining you in your prayers for comfort.

  • psg712
    psg712 Member Posts: 384
    100 Care Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    I am so sorry for your grief. I know this is down the road for my mom too. I think it's partly why my sister initially resisted mom's move to MC. She said that "mom's not that bad," referring to the residents she saw that were clearly in more advanced stages of the disease. It's the reason that I bring mom to my house for a visit when my sister is in town. I guess I'm still trying to shelter little sis from harsh reality by not forcing her to see the sicker folks in MC.

    I hope that your mom's journey is peaceful from this point and that you have comfort that you've done what you could.

  • Anonymousjpl123
    Anonymousjpl123 Member Posts: 695
    500 Comments 100 Likes 100 Care Reactions Second Anniversary
    Member

    I said a little meditation that she and you can find some peace at this stage in the journey. It is so very difficult. Sometimes it helps me to remember that my mom lived a long and full life. It’s funny, my dad passed away super quickly and I was so mad then but now see it has its advantages. This is a longer good-bye. But we all just have this moment. I’m so sorry you are having to bear witness to this it is so very hard. But good for you for sticking with her.

  • Istoppedescaping
    Istoppedescaping Member Posts: 82
    Seventh Anniversary 25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Likes
    Member

    Yes it's great that you see your Dad, it really is for you and nobody else. Thanks and my prayers go out to you as well.

  • Istoppedescaping
    Istoppedescaping Member Posts: 82
    Seventh Anniversary 25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Likes
    Member

    You are an incredibly awesome sister! Protecting your lil sis from the reality of your mom's future. It's a lot of work to bring mom home and then back to the NH. The reality is she lives at the NH. My family decided later that it was just too much for my mom, she would get more confused plus the pain of leaving her at the NH again just hurt so much for I and my sister. You are a saint. Thanks for the comment.

  • Istoppedescaping
    Istoppedescaping Member Posts: 82
    Seventh Anniversary 25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Likes
    Member

    Yes it's hard to understand why some LO just pass away sooner. If I knew now what I didn't know then. Thanks for your little meditation it really helps me. Have a blessed day.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more