How do I convince my mom to sign a medical and financial POA

welcome to the forum. You need to bring the attorney to her and let them talk to her, the good ones know what to say. She’s also less likely to act out in front of a professional.

I’m always leery about having friends of the family do this. Although you didn’t say whether he would charge you, you get what you pay for,and “free” services may not be what you really want here. Plus, all attorneys are not equal; does he truly have expertise in this area? Do you need to get her qualified for long term Medicaid? It may be worth getting a certified elder law attorney and not using a friend for something this important.

Go ahead and get the medical one done at least. You will get asked for that at lots of medical places. You don’t need an attorney for it.

We actually printed my Mom’s DPOA off our state's department of aging website. I took the form ( without signatures) and mom to a notary public to sign it. The form may require a non family member witness. I didn’t realize that at the time. The notary called a bank teller in for that. I’ve not had any issues presenting it to anyone. Maybe you can get her to go that route.

One way to approach it is to tell her it doesn’t prevent her from handling things / it allows you to handle things she prefers not to. Give her an example/ does she really want to spend hours on the phone with her health insurance company or a medical billing office when you could? Because you can’t deal with them unless you have a POA.

Now, if she is paranoid about her money, you may still not get her to sign it. I could never get my step-dad to sign one. It definitely made handling things for him difficult. I even stayed away from his hospice evaluation because he was so paranoid about me handling things for him. He was just a few days away from not being able to physically sign papers at that point. Thankfully being on hospice allowed him to remain at assisted living until his death.

@smtissier welcome, and I’m glad you’ve found this place. I have found a ton of good advice here and it has been a real lifeline.

For your mom, I highly recommend finding a cela or even a good family law attorney that you trust. The person I worked with was very familiar with the process and suggested I treat it like part of normal updates, like health insurance, taxes, etc. I found it helpful to talk to him first. When my mom and I went in, he was able to explain things in a tone (very important) she could accept. I don’t think she 💯 knew what he always talking about, but he was committed to her understanding the process. This helped alleviate any concern that I was manipulating her. To be honest she was more interested in going to lunch afterwards.

My mom and I began this journey with her thinking she had no money and being very very paranoid, so I know how hard it can be. Your tone and reassurance will go a long way. I am literally the farthest thing from a calm person on the planet, and I manifested for that moment. Good luck let us know how it goes.