I'm afraid... Update on my DH Lonny - sorry long post

UPDATE 8/11/24: Lonny is now unable to swallow although he passed a swallow test a few days ago. His mouth is open all the time. Social Services will call me tomorrow morning to set up Hospice. 😢Pray his passing is peaceful and he doesn’t suffer. 🙏Background: My DH was stage 5-early 6 last December when I was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer. I had no choice but to place him in memory care. He was doing OK at first. Walking with a cane but not able to learn a walker. In February I transferred him to a VA Facility because if anything happens to me he wouldn't be able to afford the other facility on his pensions & they would have transferred him to a facility that may not get good care & reviews. He is getting excellent care at the VA facility & nothing I post from here on is the fault of their care. The VA facility doesn't allow canes and since he couldn't learn a walker they placed him in a wheelchair. He was doing OK with that until he developed agitation & aggression & they had no choice but to medicate him. He became bedridden & only woke up to eat. He ate all of his meals & went right back to sleep. He refuses to wear his dentures so they changed his diet to soft foods. (He also refuses to wear his glasses). They started slowly reducing his meds so he could get up in a wheelchair again & he was doing OK until he leaned over to pickup something off the floor & fell. Trip to the ER & 8 stitches in his head. Back to being bedridden & sleeping. Last week when I visited I noticed he wasn't eating. He couldn't seem to figure out how to use utensils. I fed him but noticed he wasn't swallowing the last bite. I would tell him to swallow & he would. I mentioned it to the nurse. She said they would feed him. This week they were feeding him mashed sweet potatoes & he had a choking episode so they changed his diet to pureed & liquids and ordered a swallow test. Today the speech therapist is going to do the test. She did say he ate dinner last night & breakfast this morning with no problem. I'm terrified because he seems to be rapidly moving from State 6 to Stage 7. He is now fully incontinent & can barely communicate. His oxygen is down to 90. They are trying to give him oxygen but he won't leave it in his nose. Although I know he wouldn't want to live this way I can't imagine losing him. To top it all off, I had to call his only daughter (who lives out of state) and is going also through breast cancer treatment. I am going to visit him tomorrow. Your thoughts & prayers are welcome & much appreciated. I don't know what I would have done the last 7 months without this forum. ❤️