Loneliness

Hi Kat and welcome. Im one of the spouses. But i think all dementia caregivers experience the loneliness and isolation you're feeling. The demands of caregiving are so enormous and the disease so offensive for most people that a lot of us end up in the same boat regardless of our relationship to our loved one. It strains other relationships of all sorts, too - we tend to neglect the healthy people in order to have energy to care for sick one. It sounds like you wish you had time and energy to meet someone and have your own life. Very natural and very understandable.

I’ve had my mom living with me just over a year and unfortunately I am unable to keep her here and remain healthy. I give you mucho kudus for being able to take care of your mom for so long. Even in just this year I have felt isolated because it’s been an ordeal to get my mom to stay with my sisters and the companion are only daytime hours. I find myself only able to talk about my mom and the disease. Not sure if it’s just you and her in the home like it is for me, but if so I can’t imagine 8 years. Do you at least get some respite care to have breaks? I pray you take as good of care of yourself as your mother. You are deserving of the best life you can have.
Prayers for finding help and balance.

Hi Kat, daughter here too and also feeling the loneliness! I do not live with my mother, but the demands of her needs have still felt like a full-time job. It has also made me feel angry and anxious every day, and frankly just too exhausted for 'normal' relationships. I do not go out a lot because my free time is spent taking care of things for her or just trying to get some rest. It is truly a disease the impacts the whole family.

I did recently get connected with another daughter who is caring for her parent. I go to a local pilates studio and have had to cancel a lot of sessions. Once the owner found out what was going on she connected me with another person who comes to the studio who is experiencing the same thing. It has only been a few weeks since we connected, but it is SO nice to be able to reach out to someone who understands when you need to vent about something insane like your mom is calling everyone to scream because she thinks her vet stole her dog's collar to sell on the black market… I hope you can find someone too in your area who is going through the same thing, so far this has made me feel a little less lonely!

Hang in there and know that you are NOT alone!

@kblau ha ha yes, the dog collar black market drama has been a whole thing over here. For awhile, she was calling the vet's office to demand that they fire people, kept asking her caregiver to drive her over there to "beat them up," wants me to go pick up the dog's file in case they steal that next… I legitimately have no idea where this whole Collargate conspiracy originated. Some days I can laugh about it, some days I'm annoyed, many days I feel sad that this is her reality. She has been going to the same vet for 20+ years so thankfully they've been really understanding about it.

Too funny about your mom! It's so funny how they can't remember anything else, but they can hold on to these conspiracies like nothing else!!