Kids Who Care for Parent(s) At Home

Kat12345 · August 8

Are you an adult child that takes care of your parent AT HOME? This discussion is for you!

Hello! 😊 I take care of my Mother ❤️

One of the hardest things is the grief felt as she progresses and how family treats you as if you're both already gone (ie, passed away) — they don't visit or help much and never say thank you.

One of the best things is Joy in being there when the "light comes on" — "the glimmers" happen and she is back again or when she smiles and bursts out laughing. Those absent don't receieve this gift — they don't miss what they don't see/value.

What do you find hardest? What are the best parts of caring for your parent(s) at home?

Jesther · August 8

Hi, I also am taking care of my mom. And the same is happening to me in regards to other family acting like you're both already dead and gone. Or when you're trying to get them to understand or to help or just have a conversation, they act like I'm super imposing and how dare I! It is exhausting. I am working on my own mental health too. I'm not sure how to handle all of this alone. It's frustrating and scary; confusing & worrisome. I do really enjoy making her laugh and when she and j do actually get along. But I grieve already bc I know she's already starting to disappear right in front of me. It's heartbreaking!

JM27 · August 9

Hi,

I am caregiving for my father who I recently moved from his home state of Colorado to California with me.

I agree with the both of you this is hard, sad ,scary and funny all at the same time.

For me the funny part is the little glimmers .

But most the time

I’m anxious, exhausted, grieving seeing my LO unaware of what is going on with himself. Family has no idea but I hear a whole lot of opinions but no one will step up and truly be helpful.

Kat12345 · August 10

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/218683#Comment_218683

Yes… I understand anxious, exhausted, grieving. This is one of the hardest things (& longest lasting) in my life. Thank you for adding to this discussion! ❤️

Kat12345 · August 10

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/218535#Comment_218535

It IS heartbreaking — what's happening to our parent AND what family is / is not doing. I think that might be the most heartbreaking (& surprising), right now — family.

AddyJ89 · August 10

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/70197/kids-who-care-for-parent-s-at-home

I've been taking care of my mom for a few weeks now. We only really started noticing there was an issue after a car accident she was in at the end of June. So she's still pretty much there, more or less. She hallucinates other people (and animals) and has a tendency to wander to go see these people that do not exist. The hardest part for me is that she was such a strong-willed person to begin with. She doesn't want to believe that she's sick. Or maybe it's just that her brain is too far advanced in the disease that she can't see it. Either way, she doesn't want to accept help. She gets agitated and upset. I am having a hard time riding through emotions with her.
What I find the best about the situation, and it's awful that it is the best that I could find, is that she doesn't stay angry for long. Or at least she will forget in the moment, until you make her angry again. She can be screaming at you one minute and then joking and smiling with you shortly after. It's kind of giving me emotional whiplash. But I know it's not her fault. She's not entirely herself any more.
Oh and watching her slip away, watching the hallucinations get more real for her, also really sucks. First symptoms showed up a little over a year ago and they've gotten progressively worse in the past month and a half. Maybe it's because we are finally forced to face it, I don't know. All I know is that it is hard and I don't wish this on anyone.

Kids Who Care for Parent(s) At Home

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