I now realize how easy this disease can get it's two for one.

I’m so sorry to hear you have shingles for the second time. My husband is mid stage 6 and accepted for Hospice care a month ago. I recently went for my annual physical and my cholesterol levels and my A1C were above where they should be. Before this year my counts have always been good, so know it’s the stress of being a caregiver. I have always put others first, especially my DH and want to be his caregiver. Just what I do. Anyway I know if I want to keep caring for my DH and enjoy my daughters and grandkids, I need to take care of myself and do things for me. I am making sure I eat better and are having home care come more to give me breaks. I do “tapping” to help me relax. Hospice is a help also. I also have a helpful caregiver group. Please take care of yourself. Do little things for you and talk with your Hospice social worker for therapist and any other help she is aware of. Sometime we have to put ourself first, at least I’m trying to learn it’s okay to do this.

@ghphotog
I'm so sorry. No one deserves dementia no matter the choices they made in life. Nor does anyone deserve to lose a loved one to this long goodbye. It's no wonder your body is reacting to the stress under which you find yourself.

If your wife is on hospice, please talk to the social worker about finding someone with a background in supporting those impacted by dementia. Or consider asking for pastoral care for yourself with their hospice chaplain. One of my dear friends was assigned a chaplain who was heavy on the fire and brimstone preaching; it was not what she needed in terms of support, so she asked to be assigned someone else. The second one was more someone who could sit and listen and was a tremendous help to the entire family. When her mom passed, she asked this pastor to officiate the funeral service.

And, if you haven't had the 2 doses of Shingrix, you should definitely ask your PCP when you can have the vaccine.

HB

BTW I agree with HB about the Shingrix vaccine, it's quite effective even when you've had outbreaks. They'll probably tell you to wait about three months before taking a dose. The second dose packs a wallop but it's better than getting shingles and risking postherpetic neuralgia, which can be a crippling problem in a lot of people.

I did that or used that site. Found a councilor that had hospice and nursing experiences. She had worked with alz. Pt. She does in office and she also will do on line sessions. So I think it would be worth looking into

Please take care of yourself.

My DH got shingles even though he got the two full doses of the Shingrix vaccine.

Please keep in mind that a Christian therapist may also have the skills of a licensed therapist, and a licensed therapist may still be a Christian. It's a matter of finding not only the right skill set, but also the right person. It may take meeting with more than one person to find the right one.

I was oft angry and frustrated by things (mostly dementia) out of my control. When I hit bottom, I knew it, and couldn’t go on trying to do things my way.I’d tried as hard as I could, he was a good person and I tried hard to be, too. He didn’t deserve the punch that this disease delivers. I was seeking peace for my husband (and myself because if he’s okay, I’m okay) by moving him into a small, quiet, clean, memory care home, and it was ours, the keys and lease literally in our hands, until being snatched away in what I felt was a cruel-industry stigmatizing manner by the director who’d never met my gentle in advanced dementia, husband. I wrote a long stinging, accusatory email to her, railing against her decision, but in the end I didn’t send it and deleted it. Very unlike me to let perceived wrongs go. Then, I asked God to lead the way, that I give up, and I surrender my struggle and ego and trust He was in charge and that wherever we resided, we’d be okay. I could and would see my husband through this disease. And a great peace fell over me. It’s still there. Here’s the miracle which I don’t understand - An even nicer, small, peaceful, and closer facility opened their doors to us within the month, forgoing their two year private pay policy, and accepting his state aid day one.

Let go. Love God- surrendering your will for his (God, Jesus, Abraham, Mohammed, Buddha Truth, Love, Life, Spirit, Soul, Nature, the Universe) whatever you call the one, Great, I AM and accept the peace that passes all understanding.

Wishing you that peace.

I'm sorry. That is unfortunate. I have a friend who is immunodeficient and doesn't get the usual response to many vaccines. Her infectious disease specialist says that even in a case where she does get the disease, she's had a vaccine for, it is likely to be a milder presentation with few complications. He also recommends scheduling the second shot of the series closer to 2-3 months after the initial one as it seems to work best for most people.

I prayed for you and your wife at bedtime last night and again as soon as my eyes opened this morning.
My pastor had a huge whiteboard, and he drew a very small dot on the far left side and then a long long straight line from that dot to the end of the whiteboard on the right. (Picture that in your mind). Then he said … “that dot is your life and that line is eternity. Keep that in mind while you go through all the ups and downs in your life, and make your decisions accordingly.” That was many many years ago, but I’ve never forgotten it.

I read this just now … “A deep realization of the next life will be a great help in giving myself totally into God’s care.

In God’s mind everything in my life must have some significance for the next life. Everything here must add to my glory there.

I must take the same long range view of all the events in my life as God does. I must measure each event in the light of eternity and be willing to forego or wait for anything.”

My prayers will continue for you and everyone on this wonderful forum!