stress

jen ht · August 24

You guys, I feel like I can sense the stress related chemicals having an impact in my body. Like I feel like I am running "hot" or revved up. I guess this is what this season feels like. Or at least I keep telling myself that it is due to this current season.

I've mostly talked about dad here. Mom also struggles, but is still living independently for now. Sometimes it is completely overwhelming. I feel like I am attempting to keep 3 lives and homes up and going.

I'm in support groups, getting medical care and medicines care, in counseling, and here. I feel like I am seeking many things. So many so that sometimes I just want to come home instead and be alone in quiet. The support group went for 3 hours last time I went. And since it is an open group, sometimes folks come in who are needing way more mental health supports than our litte support group can provide for them.

Visits with dad are going better recently, although I do see the impact of the stress of mc living on him.

It could be that I am extra amped up due to the new school year starting in addition to everything else with family brain change.

Anyway, last night I had sudden severe neck pain, jaw pain and headache that almost brought me to my knees. It honestly scared me. Definitely got my attention about what my body is going through with me here. I know I am clenching my teeth while I sleep, so that could be the cause. I made a Dr. appt and will take a sick day from school this week to make the appointment and also try to unwind more.

Sharing here because I know you all can relate and may have suggestions for me about stress and what to ask for from health care. My vision has also been blurry. I've been to eye doctor and plan to go back again because it isn't resolving.

Take care everyone

jen

Anonymousjpl123 · August 25

Jen, I highly recommend if at all possible you take some time off work. I did in spurts: a long weekend here or there. But mostly just sick days when i needed them.

Looking back, when I was where you are (putting my mom in MC) that was absolutely the most stessful time. Hands down. Everything else in life went by the wayside and Im still picking up the pieces.

You are done with the worst part. Take some real time - even Just a weekeend day - and dont visit family, dont manage bills/finances, dont focus on your job - and just relax. Get a massage. Watch junk tv. Having those days once in a while can really help.

JM27 · August 25

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/220424#Comment_220424

Hi Jen

I can definitely relate to the body reacting to stress. I believe I have developed virtigo and have a Dr appt this Monday. I am also suffering from anxiety and lack of sleep.

You do need to take a day completely for yourself though. I have done it and it is helpful once you get past being amped up. You need something to distract you even just for a few hours. Easier said than done I know.

I hope you are able to find a release. Massage, yoga something.

You’re doing a great job! Hang in there!

Sending prayers of strength and peace!

I did want to ask you when you took your father to the MC did he know why he was going? Asking because I recently moved my father with me to a whole other state from his home where he was all on his own and he’s doing ok here however he thinks he’s just visiting. Eventually he will go to MC and I’m just curious of how one handles it.

Ive read other stories of saying they are going to lunch or go durning activity time to take them ect.

jen ht · August 27

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/220424#Comment_220424

I needed this advice. Many thanks.

May we be well,

jen

jen ht · August 27

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/220437#Comment_220437

Hi! I remember connecting with you before. I hope your appt went well for the vertigo you mentioned. Lack of sleep is so hard too. I hope they find ways to help you.

Thank you for sharing your advice also.

To answer your question… I could not involve my dad in the decisions unfortunately. He was falling for scammers. Even being right there with him in his home I couldn't get it stopped sadly. So I had to make tough decisions extremely quickly before more funds were wiped.

I know that might sound like something you don't want to do or feel that you can't do. I get that. You can do this, though. It felt counterintuitive to me. Still does a lot of the time, but he is safe. I redirect my thoughts back to that over and over as much I can.

I wish you well.

JM27 · August 27

Hi Jen,

Yes we did connect before. Thank you for some insight. I as weak could not involve him in the move to my house. He still thinks he is visiting. Although he can get around on his own and prepare himself a bowl of cereal in his own home he was forgetting to eat taking things apart and breaking them like the AC unit. Then the doctor recommended him not to drive anymore and he was also putting all his infor on the internet for scam things his phone would t stop ringing from telemarketers. I eventually he broke his phone and I put him on my plan under parents and was able to change his phone number and remover internet usage.

I will tour an all memory care facility tomorrow. Not sure if he is ready. But I will find out more details tomorrow.

He has a whole house I have to go back and pack and sale. He thinks he is still going home eventually. I feel so bad but keep reminding myself I am doing for him what he could not do any longer.

Thank you so much for the response. I appreciate the strength and well wishes.

jen ht · August 28

Yes, dad was also forgetting to eat and unable to manage his own meds independently. I so hear you on these things.

I hope the tour went well. The step of the director of nursing doing their evaluation was key for me. I needed to know where they would place him. I knew what I thought he needed to keep him safe, but I wasn't sure what they would say. ♡

mabelgirl · August 28

Jen please take care of yourself. Your body is yelling at you to do so. Remember we are but imperfect humans and can only give so much of ourselves. Frankly I think you need more than a day or two to completely disconnect from all your responsibilities. I wonder if attending support is really good for you, as you seem to be sensitive to other people’s needs that you may be unwittingly heaping their burden on yourself. Prayers for self preservation.

jen ht · August 28

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/220844#Comment_220844

Thank you mabelgirl. I agree that my body is sending me lots of signals to get my attention. I am remaining curious and listening. I'll be off tomorrow for 2 appts for myself. I think I may need more than a day or 2 too. This will be a big topic at both appts tomorrow. I've also decided not to go to that support group for a while. You're so right. That's what happens when I'm there (for now anyway, I am in a more heightened sensitivity right now)

I really appreciate you taking the time to share these observations with me. I value this input.

May we be well 💜

jen

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