Bathing why it’s a struggle

Bathing is a nightmare. For some reason they freak out with the shower or a bath. My mother would have no part of it. I was my mother's caregiver. But you will learn thru trial and error (so to speak) to find a way that works for you. I used to fill the sink up with hot, soapy water. I put bath mats and towels on the floor. Sometimes a basin on the floor as well with soapy water to cleanse her feet. She used to like to play in the soapy water - sort of like a child - while she was playing with her hands in the sink, I would take a wash cloth and wash Mom. I would give her a cloth also and tell her to wipe her face and her privates (sometimes it worked - sometimes it did not). Luckily she had short hair so it was easy to wash and care for. I would take a cup and rinse her - gently pouring it over her and her hair. Like bathing an infant. It was quite the ordeal and a long process. Lots of love and patience. Good Luck to you.

My stepdad (PWD) is also now in MC because of agitation & progression, including this bathing battle. I think he gets premedicated before bathing now or is on an antipsychotic.

Hi Morag1212 - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

Bathing is also on the top of the list for us. "I've already washed" "I didn't do anything to get dirty" "Who are you to say I need to bathe". ugh! We were finally able to get someone in to help.

Many times, a PWD actually thinks they have washed already. Sometimes it is just too much that is involved. We wash without thinking about it. But if you break it down and do think about it, there are a lot of steps involved, and they just cannot do it themselves any longer. Another reason is that they can lose depth perception. There have been studies and some folks without anosognosia have said that the bathtub can look more like a deeeeep hole that they don't want to step into. Basically, it is all so confusing for some.

With some, it may help to warm the bathroom, maybe play some favorite low-key music, and get it all ready to go for them. It may not, but maybe worth a try. That didn't help us, but she would wash if we warmed up some water in the sink. As Regina312 mom, she kind'a liked to play in the water for a bit, but it worked, for a while.

My dh with mild Alzheimer’s suddenly stopped showering says he likes “washing up” better. But his hair is not getting washed. So? He does quite well with most things, he still drives well, this is new, any suggestions?

I lack direct experience of this, but there is a geriatric psychologist, Natali Edmonds, who has useful videos about caring for PWD on YouTube. She has several videos that explain the fear of bathing and give advice about possible solutions:

https://www.youtube.com/%40DementiaCareblazers/search?query=bathing

This is a common problem. Hang in there!

I am having the same problem with my Dad. He drives still and works out but he forgets when he showered. He also forgets to change his clothes, especially his underwear. So I started putting clothes out everyday for him to change. But recently he has been putting the clothes I put out back in his drawers and then doesn't change. It's very stressful because he makes me feel like I am harassing him. He also will lie quite often. I don't think he means to but he will say things that aren't true.